{"id":1174,"date":"2011-04-27T09:47:08","date_gmt":"2011-04-27T16:47:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rayivey.com\/wordpress\/?p=1174"},"modified":"2011-04-27T09:47:08","modified_gmt":"2011-04-27T16:47:08","slug":"spring-forward-day-39","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.rayivey.com\/wordpress\/spring-forward-day-39\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"rss\"<\/a>\"instagram\"<\/a>

Brussels
\nApril 20, 2011<\/h2>\n

The Angry Email Rule!<\/h3>\n

I almost got in trouble because of the Angry Email Rule last night.\u00a0 Happily I pulled back just enough.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>
The popular Jack Brussels terrier<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Are you familiar with the Angry Email Rule?\u00a0 You should be.\u00a0 It could save your life.\u00a0 Well, maybe not, but it could save a friendship.\u00a0 Or your job.<\/p>\n

Remember the last time you received an email that really pissed you off?\u00a0 What did you want to do immediately?\u00a0 Fire off a tart response, right?<\/p>\n

Never a good idea.\u00a0 Never, never, never, never, never.<\/p>\n

The Best Practice Implementation of the Angry Email Rule is:\u00a0 You may not press the Send button on any angry email until at least 24 hours have gone by.\u00a0 This is the ideal version of the rule, and the most difficult to follow.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What can help is this:\u00a0 WRITE the email.\u00a0 Let\u2019er rip.\u00a0 Purge all that righteous anger right out of your spleen.\u00a0 Plaster the nitwit who was foolhardy enough to incur your wrath right to the wall.\u00a0 Take no prisoners.<\/p>\n

\"le<\/a>
les chiens qui dort<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Just no pressy<\/em> on the sendy<\/em> button.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Give it a day.<\/p>\n

In a day, you\u2019ll be cooler.\u00a0 You can look back at what you wrote and try to sift out the actual information from the vitriol.\u00a0 Even better, you very likely may have new, additional information<\/em> on the situation which could temper your anger further.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you simply don\u2019t have the strength to implement the Best Practices version of the Rule, force yourself to wait at least an hour.\u00a0 Even an hour can help.<\/p>\n

Another strategy?\u00a0 Give yourself a few minutes to cool off, then call the person<\/em>.\u00a0 That plan of action may sound counterintuitive, but it has worked for me.\u00a0 Increase your chances for success on the call by forcing yourself to spend the first part of the call listening<\/em>.\u00a0 You just may get some of that additional information that helps inform the situation.\u00a0 Plus when you\u2019re actually talking to someone, you\u2019re probably less likely to express your anger as rashly as you might with a plastic keyboard.<\/p>\n

Whether talking or attempting to write a calm email reply, remember the following rules:<\/p>\n

If it\u2019s a friend, there are only two strategies to use in writing your careful reply.\u00a0 First, concentrate on providing information that supports your position.\u00a0 Second, let the other person know how the present upsetting situation is making you feel.\u00a0 I know, what could be cornier, right?\u00a0 But it\u2019s necessary.\u00a0 When you concentrate on information and how you feel, you are not making accusations or playing the mindreading game (despite how much you may believe it, you DON\u2019T actually know another person\u2019s motivation for doing anything, and it\u2019s not a good plan to declare that you DO know, and that the motive was a sinister one).<\/p>\n

\"Le<\/a>
Le Chien Flamboyant<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

If the email reply is business related, discard Strategy Two.\u00a0 This is business, who cares how you feel.\u00a0 Just provide the information.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When you NOT follow these rules, and you fire off firebomb replies that are satisfying to write, you are very likely making the situation much worse than it already was.\u00a0 Even more dire, you could very well be turning yourself into the bad guy in the situation.\u00a0 Not helpful.<\/p>\n

How do I know all of this is true?\u00a0 Trust me.\u00a0 Juuuuuuuuust trust me.<\/p>\n

Oh, and did I mention that Brussels was BEAUTIFUL?!?<\/p>\n

PS\u00a0 This topic reminds me of the Two Big Lies That The Movies Teach Us.\u00a0 While I believe there is a lot of human truth that can be illuminated by the movies, sometimes the information is not just wrong, but toxically wrong.\u00a0 To be more specific:<\/p>\n

The Two Big Lies Taught By American Movies<\/h4>\n
    \n
  1. Everything movies teach girls about love is a lie.<\/li>\n
  2. Everything movies teach boys about anger is a lie.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u00a0<\/p>\n

    In a typical American movie, the hero (usually a male person) is pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed until he just cannot take it anymore.\u00a0 Then he gets mad.\u00a0 Really mad.\u00a0 And in his white-hot righteous anger, he rights all the wrongs that have been plaguing his world.<\/p>\n

    This doesn\u2019t work in real life.\u00a0 When you let anger inform your actions, almost 100% of the time, you make a bad situation much, much worse.<\/p>\n

    Average Rating: 4.7<\/span> out of 5<\/span> based on 245<\/span> user reviews.<\/span><\/div><\/p>

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