{"id":575,"date":"2011-04-01T10:52:38","date_gmt":"2011-04-01T17:52:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rayivey.com\/wordpress\/?p=575"},"modified":"2011-04-01T10:52:38","modified_gmt":"2011-04-01T17:52:38","slug":"spring-forward-day-10","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.rayivey.com\/wordpress\/spring-forward-day-10\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"rss\"<\/a>\"instagram\"<\/a>

Cleveland<\/h2>\n

\nSoap Box Alert!!<\/h3>\n

Two of my sisters have accused me of being a very black-and-white person.\u00a0 And this is probably true.\u00a0 I\u2019ve tried in recent years to embrace the shades of gray a little bit more, but on some subjects I find I am unable to.<\/p>\n

\"These<\/a>
These affidavits stipulate that their brother Ray is always correct on all matters.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The main one being whether or not I am a full citizen of this country.<\/p>\n

I will fully and freely confess to being guilty of black-and-white thinking on this topic.\u00a0<\/p>\n

To be sure, gay rights have come a million miles in my lifetime, and that\u2019s fantastic.\u00a0 But until we have marriage we will remain second-class citizens.<\/p>\n

I find I am growing quite weary of the entire argument.\u00a0 We either have the same rights as everyone else or we don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s break down the classic arguments against marriage equality:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 The Bible defines marriage as one man and one woman.<\/p>\n

Absolutely, positively untrue.\u00a0 The Bible defines marriage in many ways.\u00a0 Usually it\u2019s a union between a man and several women.\u00a0 In the case of the Abraham (the original patriarch of Judaism, Christianity AND Islam) it was between a man and his sister<\/em>.\u00a0 In most of the Bible, women are property.\u00a0 And divorce is mostly forbidden.<\/p>\n

And even if the Bible actually DID define marriage this way\u00a0 <\/em>So what?!\u00a0 Our country is based on The Constitution, not<\/em> the Bible.\u00a0 Would you really like our laws to reflect Biblical rules and regulations?\u00a0 Are you ready for shellfish and cheeseburgers to be illegal?\u00a0 <\/em>How red dresses, talking back to your parents, or masturbation?\u00a0 And, of course, if we\u2019re going to be Biblical, then slavery will have to become legal again.\u00a0 If you go around claiming our laws should be this way because that\u2019s how it is in the Bible, if you cherry pick the scriptures and leave out the stuff that would be inconvenient to you, you\u2019re a big fat hypocrite.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Why can\u2019t gays be satisfied with Civil Unions?<\/p>\n

Two reasons:<\/p>\n

First, a little US Supreme Court decision in 1954 called Brown vs. the Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 It established once and for all that \u201cseparate but equal\u201d is unconstitutional<\/em>.\u00a0 So even if marriage and civil unions were exactly equal, this would still be unacceptable.<\/p>\n

But civil unions and marriage are NOT equal<\/em>.\u00a0 Not even close.\u00a0 Many of the most important rights and responsibilities in marriage are federal, and civil unions do not bring any of these protections.\u00a0 So this is still second class citizenship.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 We shouldn\u2019t redefine marriage.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>
The same religious rhetoric, word for word, was used against the legalization of interracial marriage.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Hogwash.\u00a0 We\u2019ve done it countless times throughout history.\u00a0 Marriage used to be an exchange of property (a daughter) between one man and another.\u00a0 Until fairly recently, it was for life (no divorce).\u00a0 Then divorce was only allowed in the case of adultery.\u00a0 Then we further redefined marriage with the concept (in many states) of \u201cno-fault\u201d divorce.\u00a0 Even more recently, laws banning interracial marriage were struck down.\u00a0<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Gay marriage will destroy \u201cthe sanctity\u201d of marriage.<\/p>\n

This is wrong on so many levels.<\/p>\n

First of all, \u201csanctity\u201d?\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 Do you think all three of Newt Gingrich\u2019s marriages were sacred?\u00a0 How about Britney Spears’ 40-hour marriage?\u00a0 If you are really, REALLY concerned about the sanctity of marriage, why aren\u2019t you picketing to take away the civil rights of people who practice The Divorce Lifestyle?\u00a0 If you aren\u2019t, and yet you oppose gay marriage on \u201csanctity\u201d grounds, you are a big fat hypocrite.<\/p>\n

Finally, you don\u2019t think that gay people treasure their unions just as much as straight people do?\u00a0 The idea that they somehow don\u2019t is pure homophobia.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0 Kids need a mom and a dad.<\/p>\n

Really?\u00a0 So why is single parenthood legal?\u00a0 Why is it legal for two people who have no intention of procreating to get married?\u00a0 Why is it legal for people who cannot have children to get married?\u00a0 If you\u2019re going to play the children card, and you don\u2019t call for any marriage that isn\u2019t about to produce children to be illegal, you are a big fat hypocrite.<\/p>\n

Beside, EVERY study coming down the pike shows that kids with two loving parents do well, and that the sexual orientation of those two parents is irrelevant.<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0 Gay parents will raise gay children.<\/p>\n

Really?\u00a0 All of my parents are straight.\u00a0 My dad is straight, and three of the four children he raised are gay.\u00a0 Hmm.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0 We live in a democracy.\u00a0 In state after state, the voters have said NO to gay marriage.<\/p>\n

So what?\u00a0 Civil rights can\u2019t be taken away by a bullying majority.\u00a0 At least, not forever.\u00a0 That\u2019s what courts are FOR.\u00a0 If the majority ruled on issues of civil rights, black people might still have to ride on the back of the bus in the south.\u00a0 Sometimes the majority is WRONG.<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0 This will lead to people wanting to marry their dogs and their toasters.<\/p>\n

No, it won\u2019t.\u00a0 Neither a dog nor a toaster is a legal consenting adult.<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s possibly the most offensive one of all:<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0 Forcing gay marriage on us restricts my religious freedom.<\/p>\n

Really?\u00a0 How?\u00a0 No one is going to make you marry someone of the same sex.\u00a0 And if you think your religious freedom is being restricted because you have to live in a country that has gay marriage, then, well, get over it.\u00a0 How about the religious freedom of all the millions of Christians to DO support gay marriage?\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t their religious freedom count as well?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing:\u00a0 When I think about the 1950s, when there was so very little accurate information about homosexuality out there, and so many lies about it being propagated, it\u2019s kind of understandable when you think about how homophobic people were.\u00a0 Most people really didn’t know any better.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"It's<\/a>
It's Adam and Steve! Get over it, and get used to it.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But today people know different.\u00a0 People know better.\u00a0 <\/em>People know their gay friends and neighbors are not monsters.\u00a0\u00a0 Many people know gay couples.\u00a0 A growing number of Americans know gay couples with children.<\/p>\n

So if you know gay people, if you have gay friends, or a gay cousin, and you like to say you\u2019re not homophobic, and then you go down to the polls and vote against gay marriage, please understand that you are a bigot, pure and simple.\u00a0 You are like the Southern wife in 1960 who would talk about how much she \u201cloves\u201d her housekeeper, while still supporting segregation.\u00a0 If that Southerner didn\u2019t want her black maid to have civil rights, then guess what?\u00a0 She DIDN\u2019T love her.\u00a0 And if you don\u2019t shout and stamp your feet and vote in support of the absolute full citizenship of your gay friends, brothers, uncles and co-workers, then you do not really care about us.<\/p>\n

And if that\u2019s a black and white attitude, Donna and Rachel:\u00a0 SUE ME.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

FINAL NOTE:\u00a0 If you\u2019ve read this far, thanks!\u00a0 And if you\u2019re still unsure about this issue even after my pithy arguments, take a minute and check out Prop 8: The Musical <\/a>and this stunning testimony by Zach Wahls, a young man with two mothers<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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