The 24-hour news cycle on television and the internet creates opportunities to beat stories into the ground so ruthlessly, I’m not sure I will be able to survive it.

I hereby bestow the Lance Armstrong Celebrity Burnout Award to three lucky new recipients.

1.  Jon and Kate Gosselin. 

I don’t care about their divorce.  I don’t care about their children.  I don’t care about their finances.   I don’t care about their future plans.  I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT THEM, EVER.  If I see one more headline about how Jon has decided to stop badmouthing Kate, I am going to do something desperate.

2.  Brett Favre

Why do I have to hear about this clown every day?  Who cares?  This guy peaked around the time he appeared as himself in There’s Something About Mary.  I am not interested in his feelings.  Or his plans.  Or how he’s doing on the team.  Or how he’s cut his hair.  Dear GOD.  I mean, this is a man who doesn’t even know how to pronounce his own name.