All posts by Ray Ivey

Tech

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey 1 Comment

Do any of you techies think any of these laptops could run World of Warcraft reasonably well?

HP-4720S-I5430M/4G/500/DR/GWB

MARKETING NAME: ProBook 4720S WH287UT#AVA

UPGRADES:

MEMORY: 4GB=KTC-KTL-TP1066/4G

BATTERY:

ETHERNET: Integrated Ethernet 10/100/1000

MODEM:

PORT REPLICATOR:

DOCKING STATION:

PROCESSOR/SPEED: Core i5 420M, Dual Core (2.26GHz) 3MB cache HM57 Chipset

ARCHITECTURE: PCI

CARD SLOTS: Express Card/34, Media Card Reader

DISPLAY: 17.3″ LED Backlit HD anti-glare (1600×900 resolution)

GRAPHICS: 512MB dedicated ATI Mobility Radeon HD4350 DirectX 10.1 (discrete),

DirectX 10 (integrated) capable

STANDARD RAM: 4GB DDR3 1066MHz SDRAM MAX: 8GB SLOTS: 2 Available: 0

HARD DRIVE: 500GB 7200rpm SATAII

OPTICAL STORAGE: DVD+-RW Drive Lightscribe

INTERFACES: 1 VGA, 1 HDMI, 1 Stereo microphone in, 1 Stereo headphone/line out,

1 Power connector, 1 RJ-45, 1 Combo eSata/USB 2.0, 3 USB 2.0

NETWORKING: Integrated 10/100/1000 Ethernet/LAN

WIRELESS: Atheros 9285G 802.11 b/g/n HP Integrated Module with Bluetooth

Wireless Technology, Bluetooth Specification v2.1 compliant

KEYBOARD: 101/102 key US layout (includes numeric keypad)

TRACKING DEVICE: Clickpad (TouchPad)

SOUND: Audio type Two-channel high-definition audio codec

Audio controller IDT 92HD81B

Stereo conversion 24-bit (analog-to-digital and digital-to-analog)

A/C Adapter: 210Watt

BATTERY: 9-Cell extended life 90Whr battery

SOFTWARE: Microsoft Windows 7 64-Bit

OTHER FEATURES:

Bluetooth 2.1

Introduced 06/02/10 Mfr. Part No: 2537NQ7 (CTO)

LNV-T410-I5540M/500/4G/DR/MG2B Ds:ThinkPad T410 i5 540M

MARKETING NAME: ThinkPad T400

UPGRADES:

MEMORY: 4GB= KTC-KTL-TP1066/4G

BATTERY: 6-Cell=LVN-57Y4185 9-Cell=LNV-57Y4186

ETHERNET: Integrated Ethernet 10/100/1000

MODEM: Integrated 56K (V.92)

PORT REPLICATOR: LNV-45K1610

DOCKING STATION:

PROCESSOR/SPEED: Core I5 540m (2.53GHz), 3MB Cache, with Mobile Intel QM57

Express Chipset

CARD SLOTS: One 34mm Express Card slot

Smart Card Reader

DISPLAY: 14.1″ WXGA+ Active Matrix (TFT) display

GRAPHICS: 1440 x 900 Anti Glare LED Backlight, 16:10 ratio, nVidia 3100M 512MB

Dedicated Graphics with Switchable technology

STANDARD RAM: 4GB DDR3 1066 MHz SDRAM MAX: 8GB

SLOTS: 2 Available: 1

OPTICAL STORAGE: /DR= DVD-Writer – removable plug-in module

HARD DRIVE: 500 GB – Serial ATA-150 – 7200 rpm

INTERFACES:

4 x Hi-Speed USB – 4 pin USB Type A one powered

1 x display / video – VGA – 15 pin HD D-Sub (HD-15)

1 x display port

1 x modem – phone line – RJ-11

1 x network – Ethernet 10Base-T/100Base-TX/1000Base-T – RJ-45

1 x IEEE 1394 (FireWire) – 4 pin FireWire

1 x eSATA

1 x microphone – input – mini-phone 3.5 mm

1 x headphones – output – mini-phone stereo 3.5 mm

1 x docking / port replicator

NETWORKING: Integrated Ethernet 10Base-T/100Base-TX/1000Base-T – RJ-45

WIRELESS: Intel WiFi Link 6200; IEEE 802.11b, IEEE 802.11a, IEEE 802.11g, IEEE

802.11n, Bluetooth 2.1

KEYBOARD: 87 key US layout; Keyboard, TrackPoint, UltraNav; Spill-proof

TRACKING DEVICE: TrackPoint, UltraNav

SOUND:

Audio Output: Sound card

Audio Codec: CX20561

Compliant Standards: High Definition Audio

Audio Input: Microphone

TELECOM:

Modem: Fax / modem

Max Transfer Rate: 56 Kbps

BATTERY:

Technology: 6-cell lithium ion

Installed Qty: 1 / 2 (max)

Run Time (Up To): 6.5 hour(s)

SOFTWARE: Microsoft Windows 7 Professional

~~ INTRODUCED 08/28/07

DELL-D630-T7500/120/2G/DR/MGWB

MARKETING NAME: Latitude D630

UPGRADES:

MEMORY: 512MB=;1GB=DELL-A0529982; 2GB=DELL-311-5697

BATTERY: DELL-312-0383

BATTERY CHARGER:

ETHERNET: Included 10/100/1000

MODEM: Included 56K

PORT REPLICATOR:DELL-310-7704

DOCKING STATION: DELL-310-2873

PROCESSOR/SPEED: Intel Core 2 Duo T7500 (2.2GHz) wih 4MB L2 cache with Intel

GM965 system chipset

ARCHITECTURE: PCI

CARD SLOTS:

DISPLAY: 14.1″ TFT active-matrix LCD; 1440×900 colors WXGA+ display; 16.8M

colors

GRAPHICS: Intel X3100 Media Accelerator with up to 224MB shared memory

STANDARD RAM: 2GB DDR2 667MHz MAX: 4GB SLOTS: 2, 0 available

FLOPPY: Optional, does not come standard.

OPTICAL: /D= 8x DVD; /DC= combo DVD/CD-RW drive (8x DVD, 4x CD-RW, 8x CD-R, 24x

CD), /DR= 8x DVD+/-RW

INTERFACES: 4 USB V2.0, serial, infrared (1.1 and 1.0), video (15-hole) and

S-Video out connectors, RJ-45 LAN and RJ-11 modem ports

NETWORKING: Integrated 10/100/1000Base-TX Ethernet and Intel 3945 WLAN

(802.11a/g) mini-PCI card

KEYBOARD: 87 key U.S layout

TRACKING DEVICE: Dell DualPoint pointing device (Touch Pad & Touch Stick)

SOUND: AC97 (Soft Audio)/ICH3. 20-bit stereo-digital to analog and 18-bit

stereo analog to digital

BATTERY: 6-cell 56WHr Smart Lithium Ion

AC ADAPTER: 65-watt

INTERNAL SPEAKERS: Two 4-0hm.

Integrated Smart Card reader: Provides strong industry standard two-factor user

authentication (when used with a smart card and applicable software)

-Cards supported: ISO 7816 1/2/3/4 microprocessor

cards (T=0, T=1), 3v & 5v, Java Card;

-Reader certification: WHQL certified for Microsoft

PC/SC, EMV Level 1, 9600 to 115200 BPS

OPERATING SYSTEM: Windows XP SP2

Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 171 user reviews.

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Travel

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey Leave a comment

When the fun finally relents

after broiling the seas of civil servants

And the heat finally slips off of the streets and streets

of sandy granite shrines

spilling into the drains and on to the river

And our cadence finally slows down

as we stroll through twilight air that’s as thick as pudding

but somehow no longer uncomfortable

And we start to think about easier things

like dinner or a stranger’s dog:

Washington finally begins to feel

a bit like what it really is:

a Southern town.

Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5 based on 270 user reviews.

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Minutia of My Fascinating Life, Pronouncements

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey Leave a comment

After this morning’s good news (courtesy of the scale at the gym), I admit that on this fine Monday I’m feeling dangerously attractive. I know the feeling will pass, but for now, it’s officially true. I’m. Too Sexy. For My Blog.

Average Rating: 5 out of 5 based on 199 user reviews.

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Travel

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey 3 Comments

Admit it. The terrorists have won. At least when it comes to travel. The anxieties and realities of this post-9/11 world have sucked almost all of the joy out of a day of commercial air travel.

But I recently discovered, to my surprise and delight, that there seems to be one domestic airline that’s making a valiant attempt to breathe some life into the air travel experience.

For years, my big three airlines have been Continental, United, and Northwestern. Since my economic station in life condemns me to flying coach, I’ve grown used to crappy movies, pathetic or nonexistent available food, and seats best suited for The Lollipop Guild.

Imagine my shock when I showed up at the airport to board my LAX to JFK flight. It was to be my first time on Virgin America. And as I went through the various paces of my travel day, Virgin surprised me over and over.

The very first sign I saw at the check-in counter game me a hint as to what was to come. These days every airline has a little placard warning you that if your carry-on bag is too large, you’ll have to check it. Virgin executes this necessary disclaimer with a bit of humor. Their version of this sign reads: “While impressive, if your bag is over the size limit, you’ll have to check it.” Granted, this is a small thing, but making me smile just a tiny bit while receiving this otherwise bland information was something I noticed. I realized that someone at Virgin was actually thinking about the flight day from the customer’s point of view.

Next was my seat assignment. I got to the airport early, I was able to score an aisle on an exit row. For a big guy like me, the extra space this change brings is practically like getting an upgrade to business class. And here’s the kicker: it didn’t cost me any extra. For years now, Continental and United have required you to pay extra for these very desired rows.

The good news continued as I went to the gate. In addition to the traditional gate counters, I noticed that Virgin had an unexpected bonus attraction: Several customer service kiosks, featuring live humans . . . in the gate area! Just in case I needed any help! It turns out that I DID need help, as I’d cleverly lost my boarding pass with my shiny new seat assignment.

Even boarding the plane was easier. Unlike most airlines, who announce the various boarding groups through their garbled PA systems, Virgin’s announcements were complimented by a large, clear video display reminding you which groups could currently board. Just got back from the long line at Starbucks? You don’t have to bother a dazed fellow passenger for an update about which groups are boarding. Just check out the handy video screen. Again, a small thing, but I noticed it.

Once on the plane, it just got better.

Food: Instead of the choices being either “Nothing” or “This vague chicken thing we’ve just warmed up for everybody, ” there was an actual menu. With, uh, what do they call those things? Oh, yeah, choices.

And instead of waiting until the flight attendants felt like doing the ancient ritual of serving the entire plane (sorry, the entire coach section) in one glacially-paced pass through the cabin, they respond to you when you make one of those afore-mentioned “choices” from the menu! It was fantastic!

And of course there was the personal video screen with a million choices for entertainment, free and otherwise, including, thank you, games.

It really feels like the honchos at Virgin really sat down and deconstructed the modern middle-class airport/airplane experience and asked themselves the question: How can we take every step of this experience and make it better? Make it more elegant, or fun, or responsive, or whatever? It couldn’t have been an easy project. But the results are telling. And that’s why I’m telling you.

And that’s why I am now a Virgin American Frequent Flyer member.

Average Rating: 5 out of 5 based on 285 user reviews.

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Movies

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey Leave a comment

The Ozark family-gothic thriller Winter’s Bone gets so many things right it feeds the soul of this grumpy moviegoer.

Director Debra Granik has pulled off a small miracle. Shooting on location in the hills of southwestern Missouri, she immerses us in a perilous world that drips with atmosphere and authenticity.

Jennifer Lawrence (in a star-making performance) plays Ree, a young woman who finds herself, at the age of seventeen, the head of her crumbling household. Her criminal father is absent, her mother has retreated into a quiet, impenetrable madness, and her younger brother and sister are now her responsibility. A crisis looms when a sheriff’s deputy (Garret Dillahunt) stops by to inform her that her crank-cooking dad put the house they’re living in up as collateral for his bond. He’s missing, and about to miss his court date.

Ree has no choice but to scour the hills for her loser father. The problem is, even though she’s at least somewhat related to half of the folks on the mountain, they do not seem much interested in helping her.

There are all sort of kinds dangerous people, but perhaps the most interesting type is a scared, stupid person with a gun. Unfortunately for Ree, that description pretty much fits all of the folks she has to try to bully into helping her find her father.

I mentioned that the movie gets important things right. Let’s list a few of them:

Details, details, details. From the tattered towels on the clothesline outside the teetering shacks, to the threadbare animals and hungry dogs that seem to fill the screen, everything you see puts you into this poverty-stricken hillbilly world in which setting up a meth lab is what passes for a promising career opportunity.
Drop-dead casting. Granik’s cast is full of professional actors, but oh, the faces! Talk about a ragtag crowd of characters who have been “rode hard and put up wet.” Each new household of cousins Bree encounters feels more authentic than the last.
Smart script written for adults. One of the things I most admire about a movie is when it is realistic enough to leave important information out. Most movies don’t have the confidence to do that, so half of the dialog sounds like artificial exposition: “So do we expect father home soon from the manor house where he’s worked as a groom for the Earl lo these many years?” The characters in Winter’s Bone don’t talk as if they know we’re listening. The dialog is terse and spare, and many seemingly important facts are never cleared up or spelled out. That’s actually how life is, and it makes the impact of the movie’s story all the stronger.

It would be easy for a movie like this to descend into Dogpatch-esque caricature, but it never does. Though many scenes crackle with potential danger, Granik keeps us on edge while using remarkable restraint.

I have to point out two supporting performances. John Hawkes has long been one of my favorite actors, and he brings a flinty menace to his role as Teardrop, the brother of Ree’s missing father. Hawkes brings his trademark mercurial intensity to this key role.

I never watched “My Name is Earl, ” so I wasn’t familiar with Dale Dickey until today. I’m now going to seek her out, because she delivers a knockout, Supporting Actress Academy Award-worthy turn as Merab, a creepy cousin with good manners who nevertheless seems just as likely to stuff Ree into a trunk as to offer her a cup of coffee. My blood ran cold when she demanded of Bree in an early scene: “Ain’t you got any men can do this for you?” Her magnificent face looks like something out of a a Walker Evans photograph. Looks like I’m going to have to start taping “Sordid Lives.” My hat is off to you, Ms. Dickey.

Also worthy of high praise are Affonso Gonçalves’s tense editing, which gives the movie a mesmerizing sense of pace, and Michael McDonough’s cinematography, which captures the stark, icy beauty of Missouri’s Christian and Taney Counties.

I strongly encourage moviegoers who are weary of explosions and dopey plots to seek out this gorgeous, riveting movie.

Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 262 user reviews.

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Games

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey Leave a comment

Recently I was lucky enough to attend the 2010 Electronic Entertainment Expo, the largest event of its kind in the universe! For three days I was a kid in a candy store, checking out the new games, interviewing developers, playing with hot new hardware, and hobnobbing with old friends. Check out my comprehensive Big Fat E3 Report at JustAdventure+. Included: Possibly compromising photos with actual Booth Babes! Click on the pretty link now!

Average Rating: 5 out of 5 based on 283 user reviews.

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Pronouncements, Tech

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey 3 Comments

To:

Mark Hurd
Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer and President
Hewlett-Packard Company

Just a quick note to let you know why you are losing me forever as an HP customer.

I own the HP Office Jet Pro L7590. I did not realize until today that it has the following stealth “feature”: The printer provides no ability to override use of the color ink cartridges to print in strictly black and white.

This is perhaps the stupidist product feature I have ever seen. It clearly exists just to force me to have to buy more overpriced ink cartridges.

I am about to get on a plane, and I need to print out a several page Microsoft Word document. It’s COMPLETELY black. No yellow in sight. But because my yellow cartridge is empty, the printer refuses to work.

I do not have a car. I do not have the time to make it to the nearest store which carries your overpriced ink cartridges. Therefore, even though I HAVE LOADS OF BLACK INK IN MY BLACK INK CARTRIDGE, I cannot print this TOTALLY BLACK DOCUMENT.

There should have been a big warning (in YELLOW, perhaps!) on the box of this printer when I was purchasing it. “WARNING! BUY LOTS OF EXPENSIVE YELLOW INK CARTRIDGES SO YOU’LL BE ABLE TO PRINT YOUR BLACK AND WHITE DOCUMENTS!!” You should be embarrassed to foist such ludicrously gimped products onto the public.

I have bought nothing but HP printers for my business for the last twelve years. That policy ends today.

Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5 based on 226 user reviews.

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Food For Thought

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey 4 Comments

I realize that the following piece will remove any doubt from the minds of many that I’m a complete jerk. But I cannot be silenced as I insist on discussing the important topics of the day.

Today’s burning issue: The education and training of Denny’s waitresses.

When I am teaching a room of lawyers how to create a legal brief in Microsoft Word, it’s not enough that I know how to explain the mechanics of the template and macros to them. I actually need to understand some of the context of their work. Of course, it’s not necessary for me to have attended law school, but it helps if I can say things like, “As you know, the only three fonts allowed by California courts for pleadings are Times Roman, Arial and Courier.”

In other words, it’s not enough for me to know how to teach the thing, I need some broader knowledge relevant to my customers (lawyers, paralegals, legal secretaries).

That’s true for every job. You need the base skill set along with an understanding of your customer’s needs.

Even if you are a waitress at Denny’s.

Now I certainly understand that my waitress at Denny’s isn’t a nutritionist, or a dietitian, or a food scientist. But it’s not enough that she knows how to take my order and bring me my food, no matter how ravishingly well she does those two things. She should know what, in terms of the products she’s providing me, a “carbohydrate” is. Seriously.

Particularly if she is a waitress at a Denny’s in California. Particularly if she’s a waitress at a Denny’s in Los Angeles.

Why? Because her customers are vegans. And raw fooders. And lacto-ovo-vegetarians. And kosher. And on low-fat diets. And on low-carb diets.

Perhaps nowhere in the known universe are food and diet more Balkanized than in sunny LA. And yes, it’s your JOB to understand that at least a tiny little bit, Denny’s Waitress.

So when I say, “I’m on a low-carb diet . . . could I have the fajita vegetable mix instead of the pancakes and hash browns with my omelet, ” you really shouldn’t say, “Oh, so you’d like egg whites?”

No, mi chica tierna. That’s low-fat.

On my last trip to I-Hop the waitress offered me corn as a substitute for rice.

Corn. Instead of rice.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what a carbohydrate is, ” she said sheepishly.

“YOU SELL FOOD FOR A LIVING!!” I screamed in my inner monologue.

I know it sounds cranky, but for a waitress to not know what a carbohydrate is would be like a gardener not knowing what a flower is. Or a carnival pitchman not knowing what a mooch was. Or a porno actress not knowing what — but you get my point.

Last week when I asked for my omelet order to be low carb – specifically, vegetables instead of the bread and hash browns, she responded by proudly depositing an omelet in front of me which had no meat.

On a “Meat Lovers’” omelet.

Okay. Let me put it to you this way, honey. You work mostly for tips. It would be in your professional self-interest to learn what a low-fat diet is. And what a carbohydrate is. And what on your menu is kosher. And which soups have no beef or chicken stock in them. Yes, these are things you should know for your job.

Learn these things, and I bet your tips would improve. At least they would from me.

Average Rating: 5 out of 5 based on 197 user reviews.

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Politics

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey 3 Comments

REUTERS. Last month, film director Kevin Smith made national news when he was thrown off of a commercial airplane for being too fat. Now a new incident promises to heat up the increasingly incendiary debate on how heavy people are treated in our society.

For weeks, the producers of of Mary Poppins, the smash hit Broadway musical based on the beloved children’s books and movie, have been concerned with the expanding waistline of actress Talia Wheatson, who has been playing the title role the national touring production of the show. She had received several warnings from the producers to slim down or ship out. Thus far, the only response from Ms. Wheatson and her agent have been a simple statement that original author P.L. Travers never specified that the magical nanny be thin.

A tragic incident at last Sunday’s matinee performance of the show at the Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis is sure to ratchet up the rhetoric on this issue.

The end of the musical contains one the show’s most famous special effects, when the character of Mary Poppins “flies” high over the audience through the use of wires. Evidently the wire mechanism wasn’t built to support a 220-pound Mary Poppins, because when Wheaton was at her highest point over the audience, the wire support snapped.

The actress plummeted sixty-five feet into the horrified audience, landing on patrons sitting in the rear orchestra. She was not seriously injured, but three children were killed when their necks were snapped by her plummeting bulk.

Cissy Spiegel, nine, Tor Mallomar, eight and Tyler Du, eleven, were attending the performance as guests of the Make-a-Wish Foundation, which helps make dreams come true for terminally ill children. The three dead tots where all drama students.

In an ironic twist, it turns out that all three children had just that day received diagnoses of being cancer-free, and were only able to attend the performance because they had already received their tickets from the Foundation.

The producers immediately fired Talia Wheatson, who is suing them as well as Flying by Foy, the company which makes the flying harness. Ms. Wheatson’s former understudy, Virginia Noddle, has assumed the role of Mary Poppins. “We couldn’t be happier about our new star, ” a statement from the production office read. “Ms. Noddle is not only fiercely talented, but she’s a full-on anorexic/bulimic. We have the doctor’s note to prove it.”

Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5 based on 183 user reviews.

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Pronouncements

June 10, 2026 Ray Ivey 7 Comments

The Year’s Sixteen 10 Best Films

District 9. This stunning debut feature from South African director Neill Blomkamp just knocked my socks off. [Read my review at http://hubpages.com/hub/Thirty-Great-Movies-Youve-Probably-Never-Seen-District-9.]
Precious. Staggeringly good little indie about a young woman with stubborn determination to rise above a sea of troubles. Also features the year’s most astonishing performance.
Up in the Air. Gives the light romantic comedy back its good name and proves that Ivan Reitman is one of our best new directors.
Up. Once again, Pixar knocks it out of the park.
Avatar. Know it. Love it. Put on the glasses and watch it.
The Hurt Locker. Yeah, everything you have heard about it is true. It’s gritty, gripping and great.
Moon. Duncan Jones eerie and melancholy tribute to the “smart” science fiction films of the late 60s and early 70s.
A Serious Man. The Coen Brothers bone-chillingly dark comedy update of The Book of Job.
Fantastic Mr. Fox. Easily Wes Anderson’s best movie since Rushmore, this stop-action animated fable is arch, smart, great to look at and very funny.
10. [500] Days of Summer. Charming anti-romantic comedy with charming performances and great music.
11. Coraline. A deeply creepy fable about family, gorgeously realized in glorious stop-action animation.
12. Star Trek. Who would have thought the creaky franchise could get rebooted with this much flair and class?
13. Julie and Julia. Meryl Streep as Julia Child? ‘Nuff said.
14. Away We Go. Underrated little movie by the overrated director
15. Me and Orson Welles. Utterly charming fable about a high school kid who accidentally ends up in Welle’s legendary Broadway production of Julius Caesar.
16. World’s Greatest Dad. Bobcat Goldthwaite’s creepy drama about the world’s worst son.

Best Actor

*Sharlto Copley, District 9

Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

Michael Stuhlbarg, A Serious Man

George Clooney, Up in the Air

Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

Peter Capaldi, In the Loop

Honorable Mention: Hugh Dancy in Adam, Robin Williams in World’s Greatest Dad, Colin Firth in A Single Man, Sam Rockwell in Moon, Joseph Gordon-Levitt in [500] Days of Summer, Viggo Mortensen in The Road

Best Actress

*Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia

Abbie Cornish, Bright Star

Carey Mulligan, An Education

Gabourey Sidibe, Precious

Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

Honorable Mention: Rose Byrne in Adam, Zooey Deschanel in [500] Days of Summer, Maya Rudolph in Away We Go

Best Supporting Actress

Maggie Gyllenhaal, Away We Go

Juliet Lewis, Whip It

*Mo’Nique, Precious

Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air

Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air

Best Supporting Actor

Paul Schneider, Bright Star

*Christian McKay, Me and Orson Welles

Woody Harrelson, The Messenger

Anthony Mackie, The Hurt Locker

Honorable Mention: Frankie Faison in Adam

Best Director

Duncan Jones, Moon

*Neill Blomkamp, District 9

Lee Daniels, Precious

James Cameron, Avatar

Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker

Jason Reitman, Up in the Air

The Performance of the Year

Mo’Nique’s shocking and shattering performance as the worst welfare mother around in Precious.

Best Screenplay

Moon (Nathan Parker, Duncan Jones)

The Invention of Lying (Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson)

District 9 (Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tachell)

*Up in the Air (Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner)

Precious (Geoffrey Fletcher)

Best Musical Score

Clint Mansell, Moon

Best Foreign Language Film

Broken Embraces

Best Documentaries

Every Little Step. A tremendously enjoyable film which connects the dots between the origin of the 1975 Broadway phenomenon A Chorus Line and its recent revival.

Outrage. The appalling stories of closeted gay politicians who use homophobia to further their own careers.

The Boys: The Sherman Brothers Story. The fascinating exploration of the songwriting team behind Mary Poppins and many other Disney standards.

*The Cove. Filmmaking as political activism. This movie might just help dismantle the dolphinarium industry.

Ingelore. A work of stunning simplicity and power; a tale of survival redemption. [Egotistical note: After posting my review of the movie I got a nice note from the film’s director! Read the review at http://hubpages.com/hub/Thirty-Great-Movies-Youve-Probably-Never-Seen–Ingelore]

Yoo-Hoo, Mrs. Goldberg! A fascinating look at a forgotten television pioneer.

Art and Copy. The stories behind the people behind the most famous ad campaigns of the last fifty years.

Capitalism: A Love Story. A surprisingly good piece from activist Michael Moore.

Visual Acoustics. Tracing the career of iconic architectural photographer Julius Shulman.

This is It. A remarkable record of the final rehearsals of the show Michael Jackson didn’t live to perform.

Good Movies That Flew Under the Radar

Adventureland. A very sweet coming of age story set during a crappy summer job at a crumbling amusement park.

In the Loop. Fall-down-on-the-floor funny political satire of the most scathing variety.

Good Popcorn Movies

A Perfect Getaway. A sharp and attractive cast help raise this little thriller out of the mundane. Good scenery, too!

Taking Woodstock. Ang Lee’s gentle riff on an iconic American event.

It’s Complicated. Not really, but it’s fun to sit through.

Whip It. It’s shameful that more people didn’t see this charming tale of rebellion on roller skates.

The Informant! Won’t hurt you. Reasonably funny and interesting true story.

Surrogates. Decent science fiction thriller starring The Bruce.

2012. Go watch buildings you’ve worked in collapse into the abyss!

Guilty Pleasures

Taken. Liam Neeson kills really bad guys really dead. Better than it sounds.

The International: Clive Owen dodges bad guys in the Gugenheim museum.

Take Your Kids To It But Make Sure You, Uh, Talk About It Afterwards

Coraline. Deeply creepy, but worth seeing with an adventurous kid. Or adult.

Where the Wild Things Are. Not exactly enjoyable, but could spark some really good conversations between parents and kids.

Good Family Fare

Hotel For Dogs

Can’t Believe They Got This One Made

The Road. I loved the Pulitzer-Prize-winning Cormac McCarthy novel it’s based on. But it’s such grim subject matter that I cannot believe they got anyone to invest money into it.

My Favorite Little Independent Movie

The House of the Devil. Scary and funny homage to tacky early 1980s horror films.

Scariest Bit

A pack of cute Scotty dogs turn into upside-down hanging bats in Coraline.

The first time the bedroom door moves in Paranormal Activity.

Harmless. Really.

He’s Just Not That Into You. Okay, so it’s not Citizen Kane. But it has an attractive and charming cast (as well as Scarlett Johansson).

The Year Two of My Favorites Finally Made It Big

Long underappreciated, two of my favorite actors had very very good years in 2009:

Bradley Cooper in The Hangover, not to mention He’s Just Not That Into You and New York I Love You.

Ryan Reynolds hit pay dirt with The Proposal, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and even had time to shine in the indie charmer Adventureland.

Least Expected Comeback

Old-fashioned stop-action animation. Two excellent films were released in this venerated, but largely abandoned format. Coraline was creepy and lyrical, and Fantastic Mr. Fox was arch and whimsical.

Why Aren’t They Bigger Stars Yet?

Justin Long

John Krasinski

Maya Rudolph

Go Go Melanie Lynskey!

I’ve been a fan of this quirky, pretty actress since her chilling turn as a psychotic teen murderess in Heavenly Creatures. In 2009 I was happy to see her talents in three different movies: Away We Go (a young wife struggling with infertility), Up in the Air (a young woman struggling with a reluctant fiancé) and The Informant! (a young woman struggling with a crazy husband). Send your agent a REALLY expensive muffin basket, girlfriend.

Most Underrated Character Actor

Frankie Faison has been making movies better for decades. Why isn’t he better known?

Why Can’t He Get Into a Good Movie?

Chris Evans

Terrible Titles Scuttling Movies Actually Worth Seeing

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard. Okay, I’ll grant you it has a truly awful title. But this broad comedy about car salesmen is actually quite funny.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. A TRULY awful title kept people away from the film version of Tucker Max’s memoir of debauchery. Matt Czuchry (also saddled with a challenging name) is terrific as Max.

Best Reboot of a Franchise

Star Trek. J.J. Abrams managed to make it feel classic and new at the same time. The superb cast helped a lot.

The Year Opening Credits Became Fun Again

Opening card of the credits for [500] Days of Summer: Author’s Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch.

The “U” on the Universal logo gaining an umlaut at the beginning of Brüno.

The jazzy music and graphic which opened An Education.

The peek-a-boo titles which immediately drew you into the claustrophobic world of Moon.

Best Character Names

The roller derby queens in Whip It had a catalog of wonderful names, such as Eva Destruction, Juanna Beat’n, Bloody Holly, Jaba the Slut, Maggie Mayhem and Iron Maven.

After Years of Working, They’ve Hit It Big!

Zoe Saldana, who burned up the screen as Uhuru in Star Trek and as a hottie blue alien in Avatar.

Sam Worthington, who I first saw ten years ago in Bootmen, an odd but affecting dance movie from Australia, where he also did a lot of television. After Avatar and Terminator Salvation, I think he can look forward to bigger jobs and bigger paychecks from here on out. Next up: He plays the lead in the remake of Clash of the Titans. Let’s hope he got a personal trainer before principal shooting commenced for that one.

Can We Please See More of . . .

Andrew Wilson. Who knew Owen and Luke even had a big brother? He was excellent in Whip It.

Kathryn Hahn. Hot and hilarious in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Best Argument for a Best Casting Academy Award

Star Trek

A Serious Man

Good to See You Back in the Saddle

Daniel Stern

Two People Who Should Work Together More

Wasn’t it great to see Sigourney Weaver suit up for another rollicking James Cameron adventure? She really connects to his vibe and makes his movies better.

Three Good Supporting Performances by Ben Affleck

After a three-year absence from the screen, Ben was terrific as a corrupt politician in State of Play, an earnest boyfriend in He’s Just Not That Into You, and especially as the naughty best friend in Extract.

Three Good Supporting Performances by Kristen Wiig

The Saturday Night Live comic scored comedy points in Adventureland, Extract and Whip It.

Sure, She’s Not Bad to Look At, But Who Knew She Had Such a Flair for Comedy?

Jennifer Garner in The Invention of Lying

Best Lines

“I do not like The Cone of Shame.” Dug the Dog expresses the chagrin we can all (at least sometimes) relate to in Up.

“You look like a radioactive tampon.” Sam Rockwell gets real in Moon.

Bus Ad: “Pepsi. For When They Don’t Have Coke.” — truth in advertising in The Invention of Lying.

“I’m committing carbicide.” Using ice cream to end everything in Brüno.

Best Love Story

The first fifteen minutes of Up.

Funniest Movie, Start to Finish

Actually, it WASN’T The Hangover, even though that was a fun movie. The funniest movie this year was the British political romp In the Loop, with its amazing performance by Peter Capaldi (you might remember him as the sweet young linguist in Local Hero). The scathing insults he pelts his fellow cast members spew like battery acid, and you laugh until your sides hurt.

Not as Sublime as Borat but Still Funny

Brüno

Best Random Moment

Drag Me To Hell. “You tricked me, you black-hearted who-o-o-o-o-ore! You b-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-itch!” – Okay, so it’s not much of a line. But here’s the thing: It’s uttered by a goat. A goat.

Funniest Bits

The running jokes on signs and advertisements in The Invention of Lying. Highlights include a nursing home called “A Sad Place For Hopeless Old People” and a bus ad reading “Pepsi. For When They Don’t Have Coke.”

Jodie Foster Award For Worst Performance By An Actress

The formerly-dependable Alison Lohman’s bafflingly unconvincing performance in Drag Me to Hell fatally undermined an otherwise fun movie.

Movie I’m Most Ambivalent About

Inglorious Basterds. I like Tarantino, and there’s lots to like about this movie, particularly the two main women (Melanie Laurent and Diane Kruger). There’s also the spectacular supporting performance by Christoph Waltz, not to mention a devilishly charismatic turn by the handsome Michael Fassbender. But Brad Pitt is not a great actor, no matter how bad they want us to believe he is. He’s an okay actor. And I left this movie with a fairly bad taste in my mouth.

Least Entertaining Harry Potter Movie So Far

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Proof That a Film Can Be Perceptive, Beautifully Made, and Perhaps Even Brilliant . . . and Still Not Be Very Much Fun to Sit Through

The very glum Where the Wild Things Are.

Bleh. Just . . Bleh.

The Lovely Bones

Worst Burial of a Franchise

Terminator Salvation. Enough already. And speaking of Terminator Salvation . . .

Scarlet Johansson Award for Career That Needs to End Immediately.

Christian Bale. Okay, so can everyone now get on my page regarding this strange guy? He was great as a kid in Empire of the Sun, and he’s been good a few times. But now all he does is scowl and growl. Boring and bewildering.

These Movies Just Sucked

Did you try to sit through any of these turkeys:

Coco Before Chanel. Even my beloved Audrey Tautou couldn’t make this tedious (and, reportedly, very fanciful) biopic interesting.

Terminator Salvation. Needless sequel with a needlessly colorless performance by Christian Bale.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Lots of noise and things exploding and really attractive young actors running around in cool outfits. Unfortunately, it makes Starship Troopers look like Citizen Kane.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Not Hugh Jackman’s fault, of course, but the plot didn’t make a lick of sense.

And, of course, let’s not forget:

The Year’s Worst Film

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen: Hours and hours of boring, repetitive CGI destruction. Yawn.

I’d love to hear your comments!

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