So in early September, I began using the CPAP machine to treat my severe sleep apnea.  It’s a mask that blows air up into my head while I sleep.

For the last several years . . . okay, let’s be honest . . .for at least ten years, I have been falling asleep during movies.  During GOOD movies!  I saw Wall E in the theaters twice and fell asleep both times!  And it’s a great movie!

I would get sleep at work.  This is not good in my line of work.  As an overpriced independent contractor, I need to be a movie star every day I show up at a client’s site.  And it’s difficult to be a movie star while you are nodding off at your desk.  In 2007 I briefly fell asleep while teaching a class.  [Don’t tell anyone this.]

I would wake up exhausted, because I was getting no good quality sleep whatsoever.  On my days off I’d wake up, have breakfast, and want to do nothing more than go back to bed.

I’d fall asleep while playing World of Warcraft online with my friends.  I would fall asleep during conversations.

In 2007 I totaled my car by, you guessed it, falling asleep behind the wheel.  I’m quite ashamed of this fact, and I’m very lucky that no one was hurt.  Besides that, I lost a beloved, economical, paid-off car that was in flawless shape and would have lasted me many more years.  (At Jiffy Lube the guys would say things like, “I will die before your car dies.”)

So I was counting on the CPAP machine to help me.  And I was not disappointed.  What was remarkable was the speed at which it dispatched my problem.
Rarely in my life have I had a big problem that was solved so instantly.

From the first night on the machine, my life changed for the better.  Overnight.

I no longer fall asleep during movies.  Even during boring French ones.  I no longer fall asleep at work.  I no longer get sleepy behind the wheel.

I get more work done.  I’m worth more at work.  I get more books read, because I can stay conscious to read them.

I am now the John the Baptist of CPAP technology.  I preach its virtues to every person I meet who suspects he/she may have apnea.

While giddily describing all of this to my doctor, he summed it up perfectly:  “Yeah, it’s nice to get a little oxygen to the brain, huh?”

COMING NEXT:  All I Want For Christmas is Some Hemoglobin