Tag Archives: Trakai

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Vilnius/Trakai
May 1, 2011 

Distance Traveled Today:  40 miles

Total Distance Traveled:  8899

outrageous_churchVilnius feels like a stimulating marriage of ancient and very modern.  Everyone seems to speak English, which is a blessing, as Lithuanian is baffling.  It’s one of those orphan languages, not really related to any modern European language.  Its roots are in Sanskrit.  Yeah, Sanskrit. 

About the only bad thing I can say about Lithuania is that there are no good looking men here.  It’s a national tragedy.  I’m actually very surprised.  John and Milana assure me that it’s just a Lithuania thing; that Russia and Estonia won’t be this way.  There are plenty of attractive women, however.  Whenever you see a couple walking, you think, “Dude.  No WAY would you be able to get her any place but here.” 

My cousin John,  his wife Milana and their daughter Vivienne
My cousin John, his wife Milana and their daughter Vivienne

Sunday was a great day.  We jumped in the car and took a short drive to Trakai, which has two main attractions : A famous local pastry called kibinai, , and the ridiculously photogenic  15th Century Trakai Castle, perched like a jewel in the middle of Lake Galve.  On John’s orders I tried another famous dish:  a bacon and cabbage soup served in a black bread bowl.  It was a tranformative experience. 

John and Milana understand and respect my trademark directive to go the movies and to find Mexican food in every foreign place I visit.  Today we accomplished both. 

Trakai Castle,  Lithuania
Trakai Castle, Lithuania

We went to the local multiplex and saw, alas, Water For Elephants.  While its setting should be irresistable – a circus during the depression – the movie falls pretty flat.  Its biggest problem is the lead, Robert Pattinson of Twilight fame.  He is nice enough looking but has zero charisma and only the most basic acting chops.  How, I wonder, did he get past the tough gatekeepers of show business?  He doesn’t seem in any way special to me.  He didn’t even follow the Ray and Tayler rule – meaning he didn’t get in shape even though he was playing the “hunky” young lead in an A picture.  Shame on his charisma-free self.

I didn't take this picture,  but I just had to show you the ultracool bell tower of the Vilnius Cathedral.
I didn't take this picture, but I just had to show you the ultracool bell tower of the Vilnius Cathedral.

Also, the movie doesn’t provide a good role for my beloved Reese Witherspoon.  She is way too short and stubby a body to look good in circus clothes.  It’s just very unfortunate.  It’s also not an interesting role.  She seems to have the Oscar curse almost as bad as Adrien Brody.  I hope she works through it and gets herself into some good movies soon.

The one only two things the movie has going for it are 1) the performance by the dazzling Christoph Walz as the circus boss, and 2) the framing device with Hal Halbrook and the very handsome and very underrated Paul Schneider. 

All in all, quite a disappointment. 

I don’t know how much longer John and Milana will stay in Vilnius.  They’re eager to make a change, either to the States or to Milana’s native Prague.  I’m very glad I had the opportunity to visit them while I was here. John is going to try to meet me for my short stay in St. Petersburg at the end of the month, and Milana might try to meet me in Tallinn.  Fingers crossed.

I’ve now been on the road for over seven weeks.  I’m having a great time but I’m definitely homesick. 

Today I fly to Berlin and I’m quite excited about the prospect of six days in a city I’ve long wanted to visit!

Favorite Reese Witherspoon Movies

  • Freeway
  • Legally Blonde
  • Walk the Line
  • Pleasantville

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