Today at lunch I was enjoying a small bag of Mrs. Vickers potato chips.  I absently picked up the bag and read the text on the back.  The color text bragged that Mrs. V used “farm-grown potatoes” to make her delicious snack.

Really?  Farm-grown?  Impressive!

On the other hand . . . what else would they be?  Music-conservatory-grown?  Congress-grown?  Submarine-grown?

I get really annoyed with advertising and other product copy that wrings the very meaning out of language. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I understand that the sizzle sells the steak.  Other premium potato chips have their bags tarted up with perfectly sexy language.  Terra Chips uses “all-natural Yukon Gold” potatoes.  Makes sense.  Kettle’s krinkle-cut chips boast “wavy-potato perfection.”  I get it.

But those phrases actually mean something.  But “farm-raised potatoes”?  That reminds me of the cookie ingredient list I once read which listed “creamery butter.”  Really?  As opposed to . . . Insecticide Refinery Butter?  Furniture Factory Butter?  Since the word “creamery” means “a place where dairy products are made, ” I’m pretty sure all butter is “creamery” butter.

Another one that gets me is the vile practice of all three major television networks to refer to upcoming episodes of their series as “all-new.”  What does “all-new” mean?  I’m pretty sure it means “new.”  Unfortunately, some marketing person decided that “all-new” sounded sexier, and the term has now become standard.

I love language, and I understand that, at least until the entire population of our country is functionally illiterate, that language will be used to sell products.  I just wish the professionals wouldn’t insult us by using language which has absolutely no meaning.