I was pleased to be able to fly from Boston to Los Angeles first class last week.  Thank you, frequent flyer miles!  The airline was United.

I was a bit shocked at the food served in first class, though. 

First they went around and said, “Warm nuts?”  Well, sure, why not?  Except the nuts they handed me were stone cold.  Nothing wrong with that, but why call them “warm nuts” when they aren’t?

Next, dinner.  I had a chicken breast thing which tasted fine.  However, it was accompanied by a “salad” that was simply one kind of lettuce in a bowl.  One kind of lettuce and nothing else.  That’s not a salad.  It’s especially not a first-class salad.  It’s a bowl of lettuce.

Even weirder were the side dishes.  They consisted of 1) potatoes and 2) corn and lima beans.  Hello?  While they are all vegetables in a botanical sense, in terms of the food pyramid they are starches, not vegetables.  Potatoes and broccoli would have been appropriate.  Corn/lima beans and spinach would have been fine.

But what moron do they have at United planning FIRST CLASS meals who thinks it’s appropriate for both side dishes to a meal to be starches?  That’s a mistake an eighth-grade Home Economics student wouldn’t make.

However, United came close to redeeming itself with the dessert.  It was hot fudge sundaes!  Actual hot fudge sundaes!  Never thought I’d have that on a plane.  They were constructed fresh right in front of you. 

So, come on, United.  If you can come up with a winner like that for dessert, you should be able to do better with the actual meal.  Aim higher, possums.