Category Archives: Movies

Movies
Leave a comment
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

Movie reviews should have some semblance of objectivity.  This one will not.  Sorry about that.

 I lived in New York from 1979 to 1990, which means I was at the epicenter of the outbreak of the AIDS epidemic.  When it began, in 1981, I was a deeply closeted student at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts.  I had zero gay life at the time, and I don’t think the disease even began seeping into my consciousness until at least 1983, which is the first time I knew someone who was diagnosed.

 The stunning new documentary How to Survive a Plague begins four years after this, when there had already been several hundred thousand worldwide deaths to this horrifying illness. It’s the story of ACT UP, an activist organization which arose in response to the government’s slow reaction to the epidemic.

 The organization was famous (or notorious, depending on your point of view) for its aggressive civil disobedience tactics.  It launched nonviolent but highly disruptive assaults on City Hall, the National Institutes of Health, and perhaps most infamously, St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

The problem that ACT UP (which stands for AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, which makes it a sort of compound acronym) was trying to solve was the glacial pace of research and drug testing.  The amazing thing about their story is that they actually largely succeeded in their goals.

 This was a story that I knew pretty well, but I still found the film riveting, because it is so well made. 

Activist Peter Staley

One big challenge the filmmakers had was the fact that the footage they needed was mostly decades old, and many of the principal players were dead.  They surmounted this challenge admirably, and the film presents a lively cast of fiercely dedicated characters.  These were people whose lives had been utterly disrupted by this horribly, mysterious and deadly disease.  For them, the stakes couldn’t have been higher.

 I can’t remember the last time I saw a film that actually made me feel ashamed.  I sat there watching the ferocious dedication these men and women had to saving lives.  They put themselves, their very bodies, on the line, time and again.  What was I doing during those years?  Auditioning for acting parts, working as a word processor, and going to plays and movies.  Why didn’t I help?  Just because I, as a still-closeted person, was relatively unaffected by the plague?  Shame on me.

Larry Kramer, relentless and indispensible agitator

 I was inspired by these activists, many of which knew they themselves were doomed.  They knew that the answers they were demanding would most likely come too late to benefit them.  They were trying to stave off the holocaust for the future.  And as anyone who has benefitted from the protease inhibitors that have helped arrest the development of the virus can tell you, they largely managed to do just that.  Sure, there’s no cure yet, but an HIV+ diagnosis is not usually the impending death sentence that it was in 1988.

 One more great thing about the movie is that it pulls off a jaw-dropping reveal very late in the movie that I won’t spoil.  This gimmick gave the movie even more power than it already had.

If you can take revisiting such a painful time, I highly recommend you check out How to Survive a Plague.  Directed by David France.

Average Rating: 4.4 out of 5 based on 300 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies
Leave a comment
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

Great character actors don’t get to play the lead that often.  And while he’s a huge star on Broadway, veteran thespian Frank Langella has rarely played the lead in a film.  Of course, he’s had a long, rich film career that’s spanned almost fifty years, but with a few exceptions (The Twelve Chairs, Dracula, Frost/Nixon), he’s usually the guy adding some class to the project in a supporting role.

So it’s always a good thing to find Mr. L. playing the rare lead.  In Robot and Frank, he plays Frank, an aging, divorced ex-con whose two busy children (James Marsden and Liv Tyler) are trying to cope with his increasing senility.

Since the movie is set in the near future, Marsden shows up one day with a gift for Frank:  a robot assistant.  Naturally, Frank hates the idea, but his son gives him an ultimatum:  Work with the robot or face exile into the Old Folks Home.

Thus begins a quietly delightful relationship.  Robot (that’s his only name) is voiced by the talented Peter Saarsgard, and he’s programmed to not only help Frank around the house, but to work on his overall health as well.  He forces Frank to adhere to a strict schedule and to exercise.  He further annoys Frank by planting a garden.

But since Frank is a cat burglar by trade, and since this is a movie, it’s only a matter of time before Frank manipulates Robot into becoming his new partner in crime.

I realize on the page that sounds pretty silly, but the movie pulls it off quite elegantly.  It reminds me of one of Blake Snyder’s screenwriting rules:  Having Fun With the Premise.  It’s awfully fun to watch Frank coach Robot on lock picking and cajole him into accepting that planning a heist is actually healthy for his mental acuity.

Besides Robot and his kids, the other important relationship in the movie is with the local librarian (the always-more-than-welcome Susan Sarandon).  Frank enjoys flirting with her, and during the course of the movie he tries to find opportunities to step up his game.

Robot and Frank is a model of modest, sturdy, engaging filmmaking.  It should be referenced in film school.  It’s full of lovely little details that help tell the story.  One example is when the local sheriff (Jeremy Sisto) witnesses a casual display of Robot’s superhuman agility.  You can see the wheels start to turn in his head.

The film is also full of very nicely framed and composed shots.  There are times, like a late scene involving the two title characters, where the staging actually adds layers of meaning in an elegant way.

Robot and Frank is also an example of one of my personal favorite subgenres:  The Small Science Fiction film.  The movie clearly had a small budget, but it’s so charming you could care less that you’re obviously watching a small person (Dana Morgan) walking around in a robot suit.

The science fiction angle also adds additional context and food for thought that wouldn’t be present otherwise.  It’s easy to see that this is a buddy movie, but it’s also about the changing way we humans interact with technology.  It’s even about how we think about technology.  What happens when an artificial intelligence we’re talking to seems like a real person?  How does this change the relationship?  How does it change us?

The director of the film is Jake Schreier, who is the former keyboardist for Francis and the Lights, and the warm and clever screenplay is by Christopher D. Ford.

I can only make one serious criticism of the movie:  In the third act, there’s a reveal regarding Frank’s faulty memory that’s not entirely convincing.

But that’s a very small quibble.  Find an art house cinema near you and see Robot and Frank.

 

Average Rating: 4.9 out of 5 based on 155 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies
Leave a comment
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

Like any red-blooded American gay homosexual sodomite, I’ve been looking forward to the new Steve Soderberg film Magic Mike for some time.  The filmmakers have used flashy beefcake images to sell the movie for over a year now, and I have to say that, unlike movies with names like Thor, the filmmakers play fair on that score:  You do see a lot of shiny, handsome, buff guys bumping and grinding in this movie.

Major Thespian! (really!!)

I actually have less to say about the movie itself than I do about the cast.  So let’s dispense with the movie stuff first:

Magic Mike is very lite entertainment, done professionally well by a good director, decent screenwriters and good actors.  There’s nothing inspired about any of it, but it doesn’t sink into stupidity, either, which is a definite possibility in a movie about male strippers in Tampa.

My Channing Tatum stars as an ambitious thirty-year old lunk named Mike who is saving up for his dream – a custom furniture crafting business – by working as a roofer, bookkeeper, car detailer, and stripper.  When he meets a hangdog but cute and buff nineteen-year-old loser (Alex Pettyfer), he unwisely brings him into his cheesy world of spangled jockstraps, drug dealers and giddy, dangerous women.  Possible romance (with the loser’s sister) and mild misadventures ensue.

Nothing in the movie feels particularly important; the stakes are all there, but feel a bit like Senior Class Play stakes rather than the real thing.  And that’s okay.  After all, did I mention this is a movie about male strippers in Tampa.

So let’s talk about the cast.

First of all, Matthew McConaughey.  He gives it his best shot at Dallas, the Tampa strip club entrepreneur with dreams of moving his act to Miami.  His role is a little bit like Tom Cruise’s in Jerry McGuire:  the character plays to all of his strengths andweaknesses, so that even the things that may generally annoy you about the star really work as this sleazy, aging yet still ridiculously buff hustler.  It’s not quite Oh God Please Give Me My Overdue Oscar Nomination Acting, but it’s close.  I’m not a particular fan of the man, but he’s a professional, and he brings it here, even acquitting himself well in his one big strip scene.

Ask me about Stanislavsky's Acting Method as I grind my crotch into your face.

However, I’m quite puzzled by the presence of Matt Bomer and Joe Manganiello in “supporting” roles as two of the other strippers at the club.  Puzzled because they have absolutely nothing to play.  I can see why the filmmakers wanted them in the movie:  they certainly add marquee value.  But they seriously need new agents.  Because they should have only agreed to bare their asses in the picture if the screenwriters and the director guaranteed that they’d actually have roles to play.  As it is, they’re glorified extras.  They barely have lines.  It’s almost distracting.  Manganiello and Bomer are both good actors with thriving television careers, and they should have demanded more high-quality involvement in the movie.  Or passed.

Alex Pettyfer, as the kid, is his usual pretty self.  He needs to work much harder to hide his British accent, though.

Crikey! I should have spent less time working out and more time with the dialog coach!

I was happy to see Gabriel Iglesias in the movie.  I’ve been impressed by him ever since he appeared on (and was thrown off of ) “Last Comic Standing” in 2006.

Now to the women.  I really rather enjoyed Olivia Munn, an actress/module I am most familiar with for her former hosting duties on G4’s “Attack of the Show!”  She’s good as Mike’s bisexual booty call buddy.

As to Cody Horn as Mike’s love interest, well… I’m afraid that considering her very thin resume coupled with the fact that her father is Alan F. Horn, former head of Warner Brothers Studios and current chairman of Walt Disney Studios, my only reaction is “well isn’t that special, she got to star in a movie!!”  For her next project, she might consider expanding her emotional range past the Pretty Pout.  And to Soderberg:  I hope the favor you’re putting in the bank in return for hiring her turns out to be worth it.

Watch me go through the full range of emotions from A to B.

Finally, the movie’s star, Channing Tatum.  This is my Channing’s fourth major release this year, and here’s the thing:  He’s been quite good in all of them.  They weren’t all blockbusters, certainly, but then, his only movies that make big money seem to be the ones based on cheesy 80’s properties (21 Jump Street, G.I. Joe).

Tatum has great looks and solid movie star charisma.  He’s also an indecently good street dancer for a white boy, and he acutally is a former stripper, so his moves in Magic Mike are unassailable.  His acting agility is convincing and effective, as well.

The bottom line is, anyone who makes fun of Channing Tatum at this point in his career is stupid and wrong.

So:  Can I recommend Magic Mike?  Depends on how much you want to watch legitimate actors impersonate slimy male strippers.  If that does it for you, then get thee to the theater.  If not, well, you might be better off catching Moonrise Kingdom.

Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5 based on 281 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies
Leave a comment
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

Best Films of 2011

  1. The Artist – Director Michel Hazanavicius goes retro with this silent movie about the advent of sound in Hollywood.  Yes, it treads some of the same ground as Once in a Lifetime and Singin’ in the Rain, but it’s highly original, beautiful, and enchanting.
  2. Project Nim – Amazing true story of a misbegotten scientific experiment in the 1970s.  The goal?  To raise a chimpanzee as a human baby and see how much sign language he could learn.  A electrifying, appalling, fascinating, disturbing, and inspiring story.
  3. Drive – This beautiful, horrifying, mesmerizing, sexy, and thrilling picture is the best crime thriller I’ve seen in years.  Ryan Gosling is spectacular, and Albert Brooks delivers the goods with an unforgettable supporting performance.
  4. The Descendants – Alexander Payne’s beautifully observed family drama set in Hawaii.  Clooney’s best performance since Michael Clayton.
  5. The Adventures of Tintin – I agree that Spielberg seemed revitalized by his dynamic handling of the big-feature debut of the beloved Belgian comic book hero.  Just about everything in the movie works.  Even the 3D.  It’s a fun, funny, thrilling ride.  Special props to Jamie Bell for a vocal performance that anchors the movie.
  6. Midnight in Paris – Woody Allen’s best film in years, with a delicious magical premise and a very valuable moral.  It takes a lot for me to recommend a movie starring Owen Wilson, but Woody’s managed to do it.
  7. Martha Marcie May Marlene – I know I was fairly hard on this movie when it came out, but I really think it was my own personal filter, and not the movie’s fault.  This is a highly original work, haunting, beautifully acted, and VERY disturbing.
  8. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol – I know I’m shocked, too.  But I probably shouldn’t be, with the genius Brad Bird taking over the directing duties.  But I must give props to Tom Cruise as well.  He turns in a performance of tremendous star power.  He’s even funny.  Color me disoriented.
  9. Cave of Forgotten Dreams – The first 3D documentary I’ve ever seen.  Director Werner Herzog takes us into a newly-discovered cave in France that contains the oldest examples of human art ever discovered.
  10. Rise of the Planet of the Apes – Top-notch commercial filmmaking.  The CGI performance-capture apes worked much better than I would have imagined.  Full of fantastic franchise easter eggs.  Only problem:  James Franco doesn’t bring any value-added, other than his looks.  He needs to work a little harder.

Honorable Mention

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II,  The Debt, Paranormal Activity 3, The Ides of March, Margin Call, Take Shelter, A Dangerous Method, Hugo[1], The Muppets, My Week With Marilyn, We Bought a Zoo, War Horse, Life in a Day, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

 

Actor

Michael Fassbender — Jane Eyre, A Dangerous Method and Shame

Brad Pitt – Moneyball

Michael Shannon – Take Shelter

*George Clooney – The Descendants

Jean Dujardin – The Artist

Honorable Mention:  Rhys Ifans  — Anonymous, Dominic Cooper – The Devil’s Double

 

Actress

*Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs

Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady

Viola Davis – The Help

Michelle Williams — My Week With Marilyn

Charlize Theron – Young Adult

Honorable Mention:  Vera Farmiga – Higher Ground, Rooney Mara – The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Tilda Swinton – We Need to Talk About Kevin, Elizabeth Olsen – Martha Marcie May Marlene

 

Supporting Actor

*Albert Brooks – Drive

Jonah Hill –Moneyball

John Hawkes – Martha Marcie Mae Marlene

Christopher Plummer – Beginners

Max Von Sydow – Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Honorable Mention:  Patton Oswalt – Young Adult

 

Supporting Actress

Jessica Chastain – The Help, The Debt

*Octavia Spencer – The Help

Bérénice Bejo – The Artist

Judi Dench – My Week With Marilyn

Janet McTeer – Albert Nobbs

 

Director

Stephen Spielberg — The Adventures of Tintin

Nicolas Winding Refn – Drive

*Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist

Brad Bird – Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Alexander Payne – The Descendents

Honorable Mention:  Vera Farmiga – Higher Ground, David Fincher – The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

 

Screenplay

Midnight in Paris

Moneyball

Drive

*The Descendants

My Week With Marilyn

 

Cinematography (it’s a tie)

*Drive

*Tree of Life

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Martha Marcie May Marlene

The Artist

 

Art Direction / Set design

*Hugo

The Immortals

The Help

Tree of Life

The Devil’s Double

War Horse

 

Costumes

Albert Nobbs

*Anonymous

The Immortals

 

Score

The Descendants

*The Adventures of Tintin

Carnage

 

Documentary

*The Troubadors – terrific chronicle of the emergence of the singer/songwriter on the American pop music scene in the late 60s and early 70s, with a special emphasis on James Taylor and Carole King.

Tabloid – Errol Morris once again finds a fascinating human story to explore.

Being Elmo – A loving portrait of legendary Muppeteer Kevin Clash.

 

Animated Feature (no winner; they are all sooooo good)

Rango

Puss in Boots

The Adventures of Tintin

 

Foreign Language Feature

Undertow [Peru]  – A gorgeous film that uses magical realism to tell a sweet, sad and life-affirming love story.

*Point Blank [France] – A very thrilling, twisty, well-acted and superbly shot crime story.

 

Funniest!

Puss in Boots

Paul

 

Undergoddamnedrated

The Eagle – It was not only the best gay movie of the year, but a surprisingly well done depiction of the collision of Rome and native Caledonian (that is, proto-Scottish) barbarians in the second century.  Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell and Mark Strong are all in fine form.

In Time – Why did critics hate this movie so much?  It was clever, audacious and exciting.  Justin Timberlake proves his mettle as an action star.

The Lincoln Lawyer – I don’t care what anyone said.  This was the first grownup movie in forever from the once-promising Matthew McConnaughey, and he is quite good in it.

The Guard – Written and directed by the brother of the man who wrote and directed the great “In Bruges” and likewise starring the great Brendan Gleeson, this tiny little character-driven thriller deserves a look by any film buff.  Also, it’s always good to see Don Cheadle in anything.

Special Shout-Out to YouTube

For producing the remarkable movie Life in a Day.  Ordinary people from around the world were invited to submit video of their own lives on a particular day – July 24, 2010.  The thousands of videos received were culled and edited into a beautiful portrait of life on Earth.

The Greatest Film Ever Made

A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.  Okay, not really the GREATEST, but it’s wall-to-wall fun.

Most Bizarre Film Sequence of 2011

Oscar-winner Chris Cooper breaks into a rap number in The Muppets.

Slyest Dirty Joke

They managed to slip a song called “Fuck You” into the family-friendly The Muppets.  How did they do it?  It was sung by the chickens, who can only speak one word:  “Bok!”

Waaaaaaay Better Than I Expected

Anonymous — Who would have ever put money on the chances of Roland Emmerich directing a movie that I would champion?  Well, he did.  This speculative tale of an alternative author of Shakespeare is simply delicious from start to finish.  Seriously, put it on the top of your Netflix queue.

Most Underrated Movie of the Year

Paul.  Yes, this silly alien-on-the-run comedy was hilarious and smart.  Rent it if you don’t believe me.

Further Proof that Liam Neeson Has Stumbled Onto a Really Good Career Phase

In 2008 when he scored with Taken (a JANUARY release!) it seemed like a fluke.  But then he followed it up with Unknown this past January.  Both were solid, fun thrillers.  If his new film The Grey follows suit, he’ll have a full-fledged franchise on his hands.

I must be going soft, because …

I actually didn’t mind Starlet Johansson in We Bought a Zoo.  Is this a sign of The Apocalypse?

Inched me closer to accepting John C. Reilly as a movie star

The very underappreciated, sweet, odd, and funny Cedar Rapids.  Also, it was great to see Anne Heche in a lead role again!

Trashy Fun

I Am Number Four.  Dopey but weirdly fun high school science fiction action pic.

Limitless.  Fun wish-fulfillment fantasy with Bradley Cooper and Robert DeNiro (playing against type in a fun way).

Source Code.  Special props to Vera Farmiga who has to give most of her performance as a talking head on video, and yet still manages to be compelling at every moment.

Horrible Bosses.

Good Neighbors – even the presence of two actors I really like (Jay Baruchel and Scott Speedman) couldn’t turn this sow’s ear into a silk purse, but it’s a genre I like so much (Chamber Thriller) that I still enjoyed myself.

The Devil’s Double – Nasty thriller based on the true life experiences of a man forced into living as a double for one of Saddam Hussein’s sons.  Tremendous work by Dominic Cooper in dual roles.

The Help – It cheapens the themes of the book, but it’s still beguilingly written and performed.  Jessica Chastain and Octavia Spencer are standouts in a terrific cast.

30 Minutes or Less – It’s possible this movie only seemed good because I was in Tampa.

Crazy Stupid Love – It was a hot mess, but still, fun.

Friends With Benefits – Sharp, funny romcom with very appealing lead performances from Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.

Fright Night – A totally unnecessary remake, but still, fun!

In Time – Written and directed by Andrew Niccol, the same dude who wrote and directed Gattaca.  And yeah, this movie may be a tiny bit too much LIKE Gattaca, but hey, Justin Timberlake over Ethan Hawke is a huge improvement, right?  In Time is elegant and exciting and fun.

The Immortals – as my friend Brett might say, “Bring on the mens!”

The Adjustment Bureau – Silly, but nice high concept plus great suits and hats.

 

Scariest

Paranormal Activity 3 – The filmmakers behind 2010’s Catfish take over the reins of the popular “Found Footage” franchise, with very creepy results.  Best cinematic idea:  The camera mounted on the oscillating fan.

Best Career Move

It was extremely smart for Matthew Lillard to take a one-scene role in The Descendants.  Not only is it a better picture than he has ever been in, but it’s a role utterly unlike anything we’ve seen him do before.  Good for him, his agent, and Alexander Payne for using him in this interesting way.

Special Kudos to Warner Brothers

I have to congratulate Warner Brothers for the skillful and consistent and classy way they have handled the Harry Potter franchise.  Over the course of ten years, eight films, five different directors and a galaxy of the most talented British thespians, the films were consistently entertaining and well-made.  Probably the greatest thing Warners got right was the casting of the three leads:  Daniel Ratcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint.  Not only did they embody the books characters beautifully (Ms. Watson is too pretty for Hermione, but that’s not her fault), but they handled themselves offscreen in a classy and professional manner.  The Harry Potter movies will go down in Hollywood history with one of the greatest film franchises, taking a well-deserved place alongside the Thin Man films, the James Bond films, the Fred and Ginger dance movies, and many others.  My hat is off to all involved.

Fun Villains

January Jones as an icy assassin and Frank Langella as a Machiavellian boss in Unknown.

Best Special Effect

Jeremy Renner’s forearms in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

 

Can we see more of?

Isiah Whitlock – Very funny and appealing as a not-particularly “street” black dude in Cedar Rapids

Anne Heche – Okay so maybe she’s crazy.  Who cares.  She’s a big talent, and I want to see her in more movies.

Mason Lee – practically the only good thing in The Hangover II.

Corey Stoll – mesmerizing as Ernest Hemmingway in Midnight in Paris.

Emma Stone – I know, she starred in two big movies this year, but she’s adorable.

Zachary Quinto – He was only in two features this year and one of those was a cameo.  I think we can all agree that this isn’t enough.

Jessica Chastain – Seriously, the flavor of the month this year.  She appeared in Texas Killing Fields, The Tree of Life, The Debt, The Help, Coriolanus, Take Shelter.  All major roles, too.  For once, I think they’ve anointed the right actor as The Next Big Thing.  I approve, and I hope we get to see her in seven movies in 2012.

 

Kudos for compliance with the “Ray and tayler” rule about getting in shape for a movie

Alex Pettyfer in I Am Number Four

Rooney Mara in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Ryan Gosling in Crazy Stupid Love and Drive

 

A friendly warning to kal penn…

… who took a brief sabbatical from his duties working for President Obama to make A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas:  You’re a very good looking guy.  Don’t let all that plush White House food send you into a weight-gaining spiral.  Learn from MY mistakes!!

Great suits and hats!

The Adjustment Bureau

Give Him a lead in an “A” picture already

Anthony Mackie

Best Argument For a Benevolent Deity

Henry Cavill in The Descendants

Greatest ALIENS Reference Ever

In Paul, Blythe Danner gets to yell TO Sigourney Weaver:  “Get away from her, you BITCH!”  Heaven.

Overrated, I don’t care what you say

Bridesmaids – I like Kristen Wiig as much as the next guy, but her script for this movie was alternatively unfunny (the one-upsmanship party toast sequence) and stupidly over-the-top (yay, wedding gowns and diarrhea).  Also:  Are there really Irish cops in Milwaukee?  Really?

Super 8 – Elle Fanning was terrific, but the train crash was stupidly over-the-top, and the third act made no sense at all.

I Guess I Am Just Too Stoopid to Understand, Appreciate, or Enjoy It

Tree of Life

Most Boring Movie of 2011

Of Gods and Men.  Yes, this French film actually managed to be more dull than The Tree of Life.

Weirdest Movie of 2011

Rubber.  A movie about a sentient, homicidal steel-belted radial tire.  And it’s not animated.  Yes, it’s as strange as it sounds, and very very meta, in case that appeals to you.

Biggest Disappointment

Red State – Kevin Smith ventures into Quentin Tarantino / Coen Brothers territory, with very indifferent results.

It may be time to talk about a constitutional amendment barring artists from becoming filmmakers

Or at least to keep Steve McQueen from making another movie as boring as Shame.  Yes, he managed to make a film about a sex addict played by the frequently nude Michael Fassbender boring.  This couldn’t have been easy.  But he managed, and made it predictable and pretentious as well!

Worst Score

The Chemical Brothers’s earsplitting, inappropriate, jangling, obnoxious music for Hanna.

The Jodie Foster Award For Worst Performance by a Lead Actor

I regret to report that this award goes, once again, to… Jodie Foster herself for her hammy, senior-class-play-level performance in the otherwise interesting Roman Polanski film Carnage.  Perhaps it’s time to consider just giving Jodie the Lifetime Achievement Award in this category?

Worst Films of the Year

Water For Elephants – BLEH.  Not even Academy Award-winners Christoph Waltz and Reese Witherspoon could salvage this tedious bit of dreck starring an inexcusably out-of-shape Robert Pattinson.

Thor – First of all, it was a bore.  Second, it was a cheat.  Why?  The publicity machine was in overtime for an entire year about the incredible shape star Chris Hemsworth was getting into for the title role.  The trailers for the film showed a very brief glimpse of his amazing physique.  Unfortunately, it turns out, that brief shot was the entire amount of screentime he appeared shirtless. I want my money back!

The Hangover II – I loved the first one.  Really.  But this one was a bust.  It also confirmed all of my fears about the city of Bangkok.

What’s Your Number?  — Even the presence of a frequently-naked Chris Evans couldn’t lift this dumb, contrived romcom out of the doldrums.

Hanna – It’s full of people I love (Eric Bana, Saoirse Ronan, Cate Blanchett) and directed by the talented Joe Wright (Atonement, Pride and Prejudice).  But the movie sucked, no matter what my friend Valerie might tell you.  Don’t listen to her.


REST IN PEACE!

The peerless Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011)

The indefatigable Harry Morgan (1915-2011)

The underrated “full-figure” girl Jane Russell (1921-2011)

The legendary Hollywood agent Sue Mengers (1932-2011)

The very tall James Arness (1923-2011)

The sort-of creepy Jeff Conaway (1950-2011)

The 50-foot woman herself, Yvette Vickers (1928-2010)

The perennial character actor Michael Gough (1916-2011)

The puzzlingly admired Pete Postlethwaite (1946-2011)

The sexy siren Anne Francis (1930-2011)

The alarmingly hilarious Kenneth Mars (1935-2011)

The prolific film composer John Barry (1933-2011)

The insane director Ken Russell (1927-2011)

The durable Charles Napier (1936-2011)

The Oscar-winning Cliff Robertson (1923-2011)

The simply great Peter Falk (1927-2011)

The tragically underappreciated writer, producer, and designer Polly Platt (1939-2011)

 

Comments?  Kudos?  Threats?  Please leave a comment!!


[1] Full disclosure:  This film would be in the top films of the year list if I just didn’t dislike Martin Scorcese’s films as much as I do.  So sue me.

Average Rating: 5 out of 5 based on 196 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies, Spring Forward, Travel
Leave a comment
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

Berlin
May 5, 2011 

We have this rule at my apartment building in Los Angeles, too. :(
We have this rule at my apartment building in Los Angeles, too. 🙁

Berlin is the single most grafitti-soaked city I have ever been in.  I keep expecting to see graffiti on restaurant menus.  I swear I saw graffiti on a baby.  The Berliners do seem to like their graffiti.

Had a terrific day following young Kevin the Tourguide’s advice on fun neighborhoods to explore.  I went to three of them, all in old East Berlin.  

Then I grabbed a bite and went on to more touristy stuff – I do have photos to get, after all. 

"Remember when that Jewish family paid us to hide in our cellar? And then Papa turned them in anyway and we got to keep their stuff? That was great." "Ich stimme. Jews always had the BEST toys."
"Remember when that Jewish family paid us to hide in our cellar? And then Papa turned them in anyway and we got to keep their stuff? That was great." "Ich stimme. Jews always had the BEST toys."

I revisited the Jewish Holocaust Memorial. It’s impressive yet a bit troubling that the city of Berlin didn’t seem the feel the need to erect one until – wait for it – 2003.  Seriously?  Wow.

Yeah, it took them until 2004 to build a memorial in Berlin to the Jews murdered by the Nazis.
Yeah, it took them until 2004 to build a memorial in Berlin to the Jews murdered by the Nazis.

I also found the easily-overlooked memorial to the homosexual victims of the Holocaust.  Some people may not know that thousands of gay men were sent to the camps along with other targeted groups – Jews, gypsies, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and members of other “undesirable” groups.  The memorial was unveiled in 2008.  It’s underwhelming, but I’m still glad it’s there.

The Gay Holocaust Memorial may be underwhelming, but I'm glad it's there.
The Gay Holocaust Memorial may be underwhelming, but I'm glad it's there.

I then took a stroll down to the busy commercial district of Potstamerstrasse and saw the godawful boring 3D movie Thor.  Jesus what a dull movie.  But then, I think most supehero movies are dull, dull, dull.  The list of comic book movies I like is rather small:

Superhero Movies That Don’t Make Me Gag

  • Superman (1978)
  • Superman II (1980)
  • Superman Returns (2006)
  • The Dark Knight (2008)
  • Spider-Man (2002)
  • Spider-Man 2 (2004)
  • Iron Man (2008)

 

After the movie I took a stroll through the Tiergarten to get pictures of the monumental angel statue Siegessäule (1873) that was featured in that beautiful but boring movie Wings of Desire.  leafy_2

Average Rating: 4.4 out of 5 based on 299 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies, Spring Forward, Travel
2 Comments
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

Vilnius/Trakai
May 1, 2011 

Distance Traveled Today:  40 miles

Total Distance Traveled:  8899

outrageous_churchVilnius feels like a stimulating marriage of ancient and very modern.  Everyone seems to speak English, which is a blessing, as Lithuanian is baffling.  It’s one of those orphan languages, not really related to any modern European language.  Its roots are in Sanskrit.  Yeah, Sanskrit. 

About the only bad thing I can say about Lithuania is that there are no good looking men here.  It’s a national tragedy.  I’m actually very surprised.  John and Milana assure me that it’s just a Lithuania thing; that Russia and Estonia won’t be this way.  There are plenty of attractive women, however.  Whenever you see a couple walking, you think, “Dude.  No WAY would you be able to get her any place but here.” 

My cousin John, his wife Milana and their daughter Vivienne
My cousin John, his wife Milana and their daughter Vivienne

Sunday was a great day.  We jumped in the car and took a short drive to Trakai, which has two main attractions : A famous local pastry called kibinai, , and the ridiculously photogenic  15th Century Trakai Castle, perched like a jewel in the middle of Lake Galve.  On John’s orders I tried another famous dish:  a bacon and cabbage soup served in a black bread bowl.  It was a tranformative experience. 

John and Milana understand and respect my trademark directive to go the movies and to find Mexican food in every foreign place I visit.  Today we accomplished both. 

Trakai Castle, Lithuania
Trakai Castle, Lithuania

We went to the local multiplex and saw, alas, Water For Elephants.  While its setting should be irresistable – a circus during the depression – the movie falls pretty flat.  Its biggest problem is the lead, Robert Pattinson of Twilight fame.  He is nice enough looking but has zero charisma and only the most basic acting chops.  How, I wonder, did he get past the tough gatekeepers of show business?  He doesn’t seem in any way special to me.  He didn’t even follow the Ray and Tayler rule – meaning he didn’t get in shape even though he was playing the “hunky” young lead in an A picture.  Shame on his charisma-free self.

I didn't take this picture, but I just had to show you the ultracool bell tower of the Vilnius Cathedral.
I didn't take this picture, but I just had to show you the ultracool bell tower of the Vilnius Cathedral.

Also, the movie doesn’t provide a good role for my beloved Reese Witherspoon.  She is way too short and stubby a body to look good in circus clothes.  It’s just very unfortunate.  It’s also not an interesting role.  She seems to have the Oscar curse almost as bad as Adrien Brody.  I hope she works through it and gets herself into some good movies soon.

The one only two things the movie has going for it are 1) the performance by the dazzling Christoph Walz as the circus boss, and 2) the framing device with Hal Halbrook and the very handsome and very underrated Paul Schneider. 

All in all, quite a disappointment. 

I don’t know how much longer John and Milana will stay in Vilnius.  They’re eager to make a change, either to the States or to Milana’s native Prague.  I’m very glad I had the opportunity to visit them while I was here. John is going to try to meet me for my short stay in St. Petersburg at the end of the month, and Milana might try to meet me in Tallinn.  Fingers crossed.

I’ve now been on the road for over seven weeks.  I’m having a great time but I’m definitely homesick. 

Today I fly to Berlin and I’m quite excited about the prospect of six days in a city I’ve long wanted to visit!

Favorite Reese Witherspoon Movies

  • Freeway
  • Legally Blonde
  • Walk the Line
  • Pleasantville

Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5 based on 173 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies, Spring Forward, Travel
2 Comments
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

New York
April 8, 2011

Friday!

Tonight I’m going out with Gail Dennison, one of my oldest friends and one of the first friends I made when I moved to New York in 1979. 

That Gail
That Gail

Gail is a riotously funny actress and comic performer.  She also teaches at the American Musical and Drama Academy here in New York.

We’re trying to figure out a movie to go see.  I’m not having much luck selling her on Hanna.  Evidently Your Highness and the remake of Arthur are both awful, so I’ve just sent her a raft of suggestions.  The problem with being my movie buddy is that I go to the movies four times more often than most people.  This causes a real problem when you want to go to a movie with me.

The problem?  It’s this: Normal movie lovers — I’m talking about those increasingly rare weirdos who, like me, like to see films in the traditional way, that is, in a public movie theater —  have a short list of movies in their heads that they’d  really like to see.  As time passes, and their chance to see these films pass by when the titles leave the first-run theaters, newer titles take their place.  It’s a constantly readjusting short list that they almost unconsciously maintain.

I’m the same way, except I’m the on-steroids version.  I have twenty titles in my list, and – here’s the kicker – I actually go see the movies on my list.  I know, crazy, right?  Most of the time, movies leave my list not because it’s too late to see them in a theater, but because I’ve seen them and crosses them off the list.

Central Park West rises behind the lake.
Central Park West rises behind the lake.

So say you’re my friend, and you like movies and you want to make a movie playdate with me.  It’s a drag, because you’re almost guaranteed to have this problem:  Any possible title on your list is a movie I’ve crossed off mine weeks ago.  I’ve already worked my way down to that hilarious Pakistani soccer comedy and the documentary on the bed bug plague.  And you still want to see Inception.  It’s a problem.  Unless you want to go to a specialty screening, the only way our movie lists can intersect and find a happy match is if we go see a movie that just opened this week.  Or, preferably, just opened today. 

Oh, dear. Since, let's face it, it's an enema they're talking about, am I justfied in being concerned about what specific "loose weight" they are talking about? Ew?
Oh, dear. Since, let's face it, it's an enema they're talking about, am I justfied in being concerned about what specific "loose weight" they are talking about? Ew?

Sorry about that, everyone.  It’s just part of the price you pay for being my friend.

Now:  What time shall we meet to see the six-hour director’s cut of Heaven’s Gate?

Great Places in Los Angeles and New York to See A Cool Movie That’s Not Brand-New or Utterly Mainstream

  • The NuArt
  • The New Beverly
  • Film Forum
  • Cinema Village
  • The American Cinemateque at the Egyptian and the Aero
  • The Museum of Modern Art
  • Los Angeles County Museum of Art
  • Silent Movie

Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5 based on 297 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies
Leave a comment
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

Undertow-English-PosterOne of the main reasons movies exist is that they allow us to perfect the moments in life that are messier and less satisfying than we wish they were.  In the movies the main character always has the snappy comeback line at the ready.  She knows just what to say at her mother’s death bed.  She keeps it together in a stressful situation and solves the crisis with finesse.

In real life we stumble through our lives.  While solving a tricky problem with style and wit would be great, most of us are just grateful to make it through another day in one piece. 

Undertow, a beautiful 2009 film from Peruvian writer/director Javier Fuentes-León, drops us right into the middle of a very messy situation:  Miguel (Cristian Mercado) has a devoted wife Mariela (Tatiana Astengo) who’s about to give birth to their first child.  Miguel, a fisherman, loves his wife.  The only problem?  He also loves his secret boyfriend Santiago (Manolo Cardona). 

The movie begins with everyone in the town participating in an traditional funeral ritual during which a recently-deceased villager’s body is offered up to the sea.  The ceremony feels very ancient and pagan, and is intended to ensure that the departed soul can rest peacefully.

Needless to say, the tiny fishing community Miguel lives in is insular, traditional, and highly Catholic. undertow 2

Santiago is an itinerant painter who keeps to himself and causes ripples in the rumor mill.

Suddenly, the situation changes drastically.  Miguel is surprised one afternoon to find Santiago in his house . . . but it’s not really Santiago!  It’s his ghost.  It seems he was caught in an Undertow and drowned.

Perhaps surprisingly, it seems to Miguel that his problem has been solved.  No one but him can even see Santiago, and even though he’s a ghost, he’s touchable.  So Miguel can continue his affair with a secret boyfriend who is now really secret.

Undertow is very much in the tradition of Latin American Magical Realism, and as such, there are no special effects.  To us, Santiago just looks like Santiago.  There’s nothing ethereal or discorporate about him.  He simply is invisible to anyone but Miguel.

The great aspect of Magical Realism is that is breaks the literal rules of real life in order to get to a deeper truth.  There’s a matter-of-factness to the way the film deals with this unreal situation which is refreshing.

Undertow1HBack to Miguel and his sexy ghost boyfriend.  Of course such a happy state of affairs cannot continue forever.  Paintings Santiago made of Miguel are discovered and the whole town finds out about the affair.

At about this point in the movie I was really worried.  It seems like Miguel is going to try to patch things up with his wife and try to forget about Santiago.  As I sat there I was about to give up on the movie.

But then, I am happy to report, the movie completely surprised me.  I won’t tell you what exactly happens, but it’s a surprisingly moving act of redemption and forgiveness.  I highly recommend you let yourself get swept away by Undertow.

Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5 based on 246 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies, Pronouncements
3 Comments
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

The Year’s Best Movies.   In Order.

  1. Winter’s Bone.  An amazing Ozark family gothic thriller, this beautiful movie really got under my skin.
  2. The Social Network.  Together, director David Fincher and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin hit the ball out of the park with this dizzyingly smart and watchable movie. 
  3. True Grit.  Once again Joel and Ethan Coen astound with their filmmaking skills.
  4. Inception.  A flawed masterpiece which gets high marks 1) for sheer chutzpah, 2) for challenging the viewers with something more complex than an episode of Blue’s Clues, 3) for having visual effects that, while spectacular, always served the plot, and finally 4) FOR NOT BEING IN 3D.
  5. How To Train Your Dragon.  An amazingy satisfying movie, written with intelligence, wit and warmth, featuring splendid voice acting and spectacular visuals that really do need to be seen in 3D.
  6. Toy Story 3.  Yeah, big surprise, huh?
  7. The King’s Speech.  Yeah, what everyone else has already said.  It’s really good, except for Guy Pearce.
  8. 127 Hours.  Ewwww.  Look away at the most difficult parts if you must, but this energetic and intriguing film should not be missed.
  9. Never Let Me Go.  Scary and sad film about a group of young people with a horrifying destiny.
  10. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1.  Absolutely beautifully made warm-up to the end of the Harry Potter saga.  A triumph of pure commercial filmmaking.

 Honorable Mention: The Ghost Writer, Let Me In, The Last Exorcism, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Despicable Me, The Town

Maybe Not Great, but highly recommended

Hot Tub Time Machine, Just Wright, Agora, Cairo Time, Step Up 3D, Who is Harry Nilsson and Why is Everybody Talkin’ About Him?, Catfish, City Island, Devil, Life As We Know It, Unstoppable, The Losers

Regarding The Fighter

I loathe boxing.  I am uninterested in stories about scrappy underdog fighters.  And I’d rather jam poison-dipped upholstery tacks into my gums than sit through another too-much-acting-per-square-inch performance by Christian Bale.  The Fighter may be the greatest film ever made.  I’ll never know. 

Asterisk indicates the winner.  Thank you for playing.

 

Best Actor

Robert Duvall, Get Low

Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

James Franco, 127 Hours

*Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

Jeff Bridges, True Grit

Honorable Mention: Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine Andy Garcia in City Island, Alexander Siddig in Cairo Time

 

Best Actress

Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone

Tilda Swinton, I Am Love

Noomi Rapace, The Girl Who Got the International Book And Movie Franchise

*Annette Bening in Mother and Child

Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Honorable Mention:  Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine

 

Best Supporting Actor

John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone

*Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

Josh Brolin, True Grit

Barry Pepper, True Grit

Honorable Mention:  Justin Timberlake, Andrew Garfield and Armie Hammer in The Social Network, Henry Thomas (yeah, from E.T.) in Dear John, Joel Edgerton in The Square and Animal Kingdom, Lucas Black in Get Low

 

Best Supporting Actress

Dale Dickey, Winter’s Bone

Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Chloe Moretz, Let Me In

*Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit

Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech

 

Best Director

Debra Granik, Winter’s Bone

Joel and Ethan Coen, True Grit

Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech

*David Fincher, The Social Network

Christopher Nolan, Inception

 

Art Direction

*Winter’s Bone

True Grit

Inception

Tron Legacy

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

 

Casting

Winter’s Bone

 

Cinematography

Winter’s Bone

*Inception

True Grit

Tron: Legacy

The Social Network

 

Original Screenplay

Inception (Christopher Nolan)

*The King’s Speech (David Seidler)

Despicable Me (Ken Daurio and Cinco Paul)

 

Adapted Screenplay

Winter’s Bone (Debra Granik, Anne Rosellini)

Never Let Me Go (Alex Garland)

True Grit (Joel and Ethan Coen)

How To Train Your Dragon (William Davies, Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders)

*The Social Network (Aaron Sorkin)

 

Costumes

Special Mention to Rob Cron for getting his first on-screen credit in Tron: Legacy!

 

Visual Effects

*Inception

The Social Network

Tron: Legacy

 

Incredible Year for Documentaries

Waking Sleeping Beauty.  The excellent string of documentaries about Disney continues.  Remember when Disney feature animation hit its nadir in the 1980s with The Black Cauldron.  This sprightly film is about how the Mouse House made it from there to the glories of The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast.

Casino Jack and the United States of Money.  Our government:  for sale!

Joan Rivers:  A Piece of Work.  Indeed. 

8:  The Mormon Proposition.  The movie that clearly shows the Mormon Church’s vast violations of its tax-exempt status by sponsoring and supporting the notorious California Proposition 8.

Stonewall Uprising.  Hear about the beginning of the revolution from people who where there.

The Tillman Story.  The story of the iconclastic and heroic Pat Tillman and the shameful military and governmental coverup regarding the circumstances of his death in Afghanistan.

*Freakanomics.  Delightful film adaptation of the fascinating best-selling book.

 

Foreign Language

Micmacs (France)

Patrik, Age 1.5 (Sweden)

*Rare Exports.  You’ve got to rent this insane Christmas horror film from Finland.  No, seriously, you really have to rent it.

 

A Very Good Year for Jay Baruchel

The talented young star of How To Train Your Dragon, She’s Out of My League, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Good Neighbors (Canadian) and The Trotsky.  Mr. Baruchel is a major talent and I expect big things from him. 

It’s Facebook’s World; We Just Live In It

2010 saw not one but two really good movies that centered on the ubiquitous social network:  Catfish and, well, The Social Network.

What Kind of Movies Are These?

Both Catfish and Exit Through the Gift Shop blurred the lines between where a documentary ends and cinematic scam begins.  If you just remember Ray’s mantra (All movies are fiction!) you can sit back and relax these two crazy stories.  Who cares whether they’re true or not?

Best Lines

Owen: But how old are you, really?   Abby: Twelve. But… I’ve been twelve for a very long time.  (A deliciously creepy and telling moment from Let Me In.)

“I’m six-five, 220, and there’s two of me.” – Twin talk from The Social Network.

Funniest Moments

Craig Robinson gets to work in the title of the movie (and then steal a glance at the camera) in Hot Tub Time Machine

Dwayne Johnson and and Samuel L. Jackson cluelessly jump off a tall building in The Other Guys.

The mounted wall décor inside the evil mansion in Despicable Me.

Best Movie About an Ancient Female Astronomer

Agora

Please Let  Us See More Of . . .

Craig Robinson.  I can’t watch The Office, so I need him to make more movies.

Chloe Moretz.  After terrific performances in (500) Days of Summer and Let Me In, I am eager to see more work from this talented young lady.

City Island’s Steven Strait.  I’m only human.

Yaniv Schulman, the subject (or star?) of the fascinating hybrid film Catfish.

Jenny O’Hara.  This veteran character woman has got it goin’ on, and she made the surprisingly good Devil even better.

Make fun of me all you want, I say he has genuine star quality:

Channing Tatum.  He proved in Dear John that he’s got actual movie star charisma.  He’s not just another Abercrombie model who got lucky.

Surprisingly Good!

Hot Tub Time Machine.  Believe it or not.  It’s a real hoot, and Craig Robinson is hilarious.

Ridiculously Attractive Movie Couples

Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel in Life As We Know It

Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal in Love and Other Drugs

Best Compliance With the “Ray and Tayler Rule”

Alex O’Loughlin, a handsome actor never known for having much of a physique, got into RIDICULOUSLY good shape for his lead role opposite Jennifer Lopez in The Back-Up Plan.  Well done.

Common, who buffed up admirably for his turn as a professional basketball player in Just Wright.

Jake Gyllenhaal, who paid careful attention to the Ray and Tayler Rule for both Prince of Persia and Love and Other Drugs

Eggregious Violations of the “Ray and Tayler Rule”

Did Christopher Egan not read the script of Letters to Juliet when he got the job?  And, you know, notice the scene in Act III in which he went swimming?  What was he thinking?

Puzzling Casting

Why was Guy Pearce, who is seven years Colin Firth’s junior, get cast as his older brother in The King’s Speech?  He also wasn’t very good.

Best in a Historically Weak Field

I’m not saying Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time was a great movie, but it was the best movie I’ve ever seen based on a video game franchise.  At the very least, it was a step in the right direction.

I Haven’t Given Up on Zac Efron . . . 

 . . despite the sappiness of Charlie St. Cloud.  And bonus points to Zac for his faithful compliance with the Ray and Tayler Rule.

Excellent Title

Hot Tub Time Machine

My Very Favorite Rapist Film Director Ever

The Ghost Writer’s Roman Polanski

The Girl Who Got the International Book and Movie Franchise

I can’t get that excited about the books or the movies.  But they’re okay if you like that sort of thing.

Better Than I Expected!

Devil

The Last Exorcism

Life As We Know It

It Had to Happen Some Time

An good American remake of a well-received European film.  Really?  Yep, that’s just what Let Me In is.  Check it out.

Strange, but I Liked it Anyway

Easier With Practice.  This movie had a terrible title, but it’s a surprisingly sweet exploration of the unorthodox relationship that grows between two people who only know each other through the telephone.  Brian Geraghty, who was so good in The Hurt Locker, stars.

Face It, I Like the Minimalist Horror Films

Both The Last Exorcism and Paranormal Activity 2 did a terrific job of scaring audiences without special effects or much of a budget.  Well done.

Thought I Would HATE It

But The Losers was really fun!

She Never Lets Me Down

I don’t think I’ve ever sat through a Queen Latifah vehicle that I didn’t really enjoy.  This year’s Just Wright was no exception.  It was fun to root for her to win the heart of the studly basketball player (Common) who was her physical therapy patient. 

Like Dance Movies?

Then don’t miss the highly kinetic and sexy Step Up 3D.

Sweet RomComs

Letters to Juliet.  Corny, predictable, and utterly charming fantasy about purloined love letters, with the added bonus of featuring a screen reuniting of real-life lovers Vanessa Redgrave and Franco Nero.

Life As We Know It.  Also predictable but oddly irresistable bit of fluff about growing up against your will.

They Got the Wrong Annette Bening Performance!

Instead of her excellent work in the sappy and stupidly overrated The Kids Are All Right, the supremely talented Bening should have been lauded for her stunning work in Mother and Child, which no one saw but me.

They Got The Wrong Aussie Noir!

Mountains of praise got heaped on the mediocre “The Animal Kingdom.”  The scrappy little crime thriller from Down Under that everyone SHOULD have seen was The Square, a nasty and fascinating story of greed and murder.

Well-Meaning But Zzzzzzz

The Green Zone

Disappointments

The Illusionist.  The tedious new film from the creator of the breathtakingly good The Triplets of Belleville.

Life During Wartime.  Todd Solondz’s follow-up to his amazing film Happiness was, to be kind, lackluster.

Most Overrated

A Prophet.  This French crime film got reviews like it was the second coming of Pee Wee Herman.  It thought it was just barely okay.

The Kids Are All Right.  Dull and unconvincing.

Please Give.  Dull and whiny.

Black Swan.  Followed closely by Darren Aronofsky.  This movie was overrought, pretentious and boring.

Animal Kingdom.  The reviewers were wrong.

Restropo.  Overrated writer Sebastian Junger reaped huge praise for holding a camera while visiting deployed soldiers in Afghanistan.  And then complaining in interviews about having to go without sex or the internet while he was there.  Oh, how you suffer for your art, Sebastian.

My Dog Tulip.  Great reviews.  Dull as dishwater.

Conviction.  Very pedestrian treatment of a true-life legal battle.

I Just Don’t Get It

Shutter Island.  Martin Scorcese continues to be the most overrated director in American film.

The Year’s Worst Movies

*The Last Airbender.  I never thought I’d walk out of an M. Night Shyamalan film.  But now it’s happened.

Alice in Wonderland.  Tim Burton reaches a new low in excess and bad storytelling in this quasi-3D piece of crap.

Hereafter.  Shallow treatment of a potentially profound subject.  Clint Eastwood was off his game on this one.

 

In Memoriam

 

Barbara Billingsley

Leslie Nielsen

Peter Graves

Steve Landesberg

Blake Edwards

Jill Clayburgh

Dino De Laurentiis

Tony Curtis

Rue McClanahan

Dennis Hopper

Gary Coleman

Dixie Carter

John Forsyth

Corey Haim

 

Please post your comments!   Now get out there and go to the movies!!!

Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 150 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter
Movies
Leave a comment
Facebooktwitterrssinstagram

If you’re a moviegoer,   and your friends are moviegoers, I promise you this week that one of you is going suggest that you all go see the new film Hereafter.

Hereafter is the new film from the venerable Clint Eastwood, which of course makes it An Important Movie.  Which means when you walk in and plop down your $15, you’re going to expect that it’s a serious treatment of its subject – that is, Near Death Experiences. 

 And I’m not here to tell you not to see it.  It’s reasonably well told, and full of attractive people.  But I do want to warn you that the movie isn’t really about near-death experiences.  The movie isn’t the least bit interested in near-death experiences.  In case that  matters to you, I’ll save you your $15 right now and tell you what Hereafter is about:

It’s about Matt Damon really, really needing to get laid.

I’m not kidding.  Every death in the movie – from a  senseless traffic fatality in London to the ghastly carnage brought about by the December 26, 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami – simply serves as a mechanism to help Matt Damon finally solve his romance troubles.

Sorry we had to kill your brother, but how else are we going to get Matt Damon a date?
Sorry we had to kill your brother, but how else are we going to get Matt Damon a date?

Matt Damon stars as a glum guy who used to be a successful professional psychic.  Sort of like John Edwards, except a) his talent is real, meaning he’s not b) a reprehensible scum-of-the-earth creep.  He’s just lonely and sad, as only good-looking movie stars can be.

His psychic gift became such a burden that he gave it up, and he now plods through a depressing factory job at the S&H Sugar factory in San Francisco.  But his gift stubbornly haunts him, and once again ruins his chance at love with a beautiful and available fellow cooking student  (the always-welcome and puzzlingly underrated Bryce Dallas Howard).

Meanwhile, two other seemingly deeply meaning-filled stories develop elsewhere in the movie.  In once,  a famous French journalist (the arrestingly beautiful Cécile de France) struggles to come to grips with the near-death experience she had during the tsunami (which is depicted quite impressively).  In the other, a young English boy (played by both Charlie and Frankie McClaren) struggles to come to grips with the abrupt death of his twin.

The movie is never boring, but it’s sloppy.   Eastwood is famous for working quickly, but this time I think everyone went a bit too quickly.  There’s a howling mistake during a scene in which Damon is touring the home of Charles Dickens.  Damon’s character is a Dickens freak, so it’s fun to watch him whisper the answers to every trivia question about the great writer asked by the unctuous tour guide.  Therefore, when the guide makes a stunningly basic mistake about Dickensian lore (the subject of Dickens’ last novel  was named Edwin not Edward Drood) it makes absolutely no sense that Damon wouldn’t react.  But he doesn’t . . . I’m assuming because the mistake was unintentional, and Mr. Eastwood said “Cut!  Print!” before any literate person on the set had a chance to raise her hand and say, “Ahem, actually  the book was called . . . “ 

I'm firing you AND breaking up with you so you will be sad and lonely and available for Matt!
I'm firing you AND breaking up with you so you will be sad and lonely and available for Matt!

Even worse, Eastwood succumbs to one of the biggest clichés in the history of movies – a chestnut that’s been endlessly lampooned in those lists that circulate on the internet:  the old Eiffel Tower Through The Window So You Don’t Forget You’re in Paris shot.  Honestly, Clint . . . you didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday, and for that matter neither did we, so how could you foist that clunker on us?  It’s embarrassing, really.

But back to the plot!  Since this is a Big Important Movie, it’s easy to get seduced into believing that all three stories will eventually come together in some meaningful and illuminating way. 

And they do come together in act three.  Huzzah!

 And guess what we learn about the hereafter? 

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

That big a fool Clint Eastwood isn’t.  He knows that what lies beyond the veil of death is one of life’s unknowable mysteries, and that to pretend to know otherwise is an invitation to ridicule.  It’s a bit shocking to think that this movie was written by the gifted Peter Morgan, who penned Frost/Nixon and The Queen, which were both actual adult movies, and good ones.

Would you sleep with me if I told you that I actually liked Lady in the Water?
Would you sleep with me if I told you that I actually liked Lady in the Water?

So why, then, make this movie?  Why dangle this big, tantalizing topic in front of us when you know there are no real answers to be had?  The more I think about it, the more offensive it is.  I hate to say it, but Hereafter reminds me of the loathsome Awakenings (1990), which pretended to be about catatonic encephalitis victims and their failure to have long-term benefits from an experimental treatment, but in the end it turned out it was really about Robin Williams getting to have sex with Julie Kavner.  Yippee, happy ending!  I remember sitting in my seat twenty years ago in slack-jawed disbelief, half-expecting Robin and Julie to roll the once-again unresponsive Robert DeNiro off his gurney so the they could use it to get busy.

Hereafter is that distasteful, because its message is the following:  Don’t feel bad that your twin got creamed by that truck, and don’t think that the deaths of those 200, 000 brown people in the tsunami were in vain!  All that happened for a really good reason:  Two lonely, attractive white people finally get laid!

Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5 based on 198 user reviews.

[ | | | | ]

Facebooktwitter