Moscow
May 24, 2011
Very busy day at work!

I have to say I love the aspects of my visit in Moscow that happily ring the chimes of stereotypes Americans have of Russia. The super-helpful receptionis is named Svetlana, how great is that. And on Wednesday the IT director offered me some caviar. In the office.
I have realized that my travel day on June 4, when I go home, is going to be particularly challenging. Not only do I have to get up early to catch a 6:55 flight from Helsinki, but I then have a seven hour layover in Munich. That means, I have to get up insanely early, get on a short flight, then be stuck in an airport literally all day, then get on a twelve hour flight. A twelve hour flight that I’ll be in a tiny coach seat, yay. I’m not complaining (well, I am, but I’m in denial about it). It’s a quality problem, I understand. I’ll just have to be really zen that day and go to my happy place while the person sitting in front of me leans her coach seat way back so that it’s literally in my face. For twelve hours.

Alas, I can’t shift the exit from Helsinki do to arcane ticket restrictions, and while I could head into Munich for the day, just the round trip cab fare would be quite expensive. Grumble.

After work I just headed back to the hotel to relax. Near the hotel I stopped into a bakery and got a bacon and green onion muffin that turned out to be heaven on a stick.
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I know I’ve mentioned McDonald’s entirely too many times buyt here I go again. In addition to being a reliable source for actual fountain Diet Cokes (albeit with sometimes dodgy local recipes), and an escape from intimidating and expensive menus in foreign languages, it’s also a great barometer on “how foreign” a city is.

You can judge how alien a place is by how easy or hard a visit to McDonalds is. I’m serious. Paris? No problem. Even if the menu is in French, it’s a snap. Belgium? No sweat. Germany? A tiny bit harder, but still not bad. Tokyo? Medium challenging. The saving grace is the employee takes one look at the big round-eye American and simply flips the laminated placemat menu over to the Engrish side.
Beijing and Moscow McDonalds, however, are challenging. Mysterious menus, enormous lines, loud foreign voices all around you, intimidating currency, etc.
My Favorite Muffin Places
- My Favorite Muffin, Upper West Side, New York (long gone, I’m sure, but it was hell on wheels in the 1980s)
- Zaro’s, Grand Central Terminal, New York
- Upside Down Bakery, Moscow
- Any Mrs. Field’s (their raspberry muffins and chocolate chip muffins are religious experiences)
A brilliant idea (if I do say so myself):
On the 12 hour flight, when the person in front of you leans her seat back (and appears in your lap), you begin coughing and/or burping (whichever is easier for you) at irregular intervals but with increasing frequency. The personal-space-interloper will rapidly reconsider just how badly she *needs* to be in a semi-but-not-really-supine position.
If the plan works and she returns her seat to a fully upright (or even a nearly upright) position, signal for the steward and order yourself a drink (to treat the cough/burp) and then order the person in front of you a drink as well to thank her for being so “considerate” about your “condition.”
Great idea. BUT. What I’ll probably do is what I did the last time I was flying home from Munich and someone leaned back into my crotch: I leaned forward, got their attention, and said very nicely, “Hi! I have absolutely no right to ask you to do this, but is there any possibility I could talk you into bringing your seat back up?” The person cheerfully complied, and later I got the flight attendant’s attention and bought the couple drinks. She turned around when she got the drinks and said, “Thank you. That was nice but not necessary.” “Well, it also wasn’t necessary for you to accomodate my request, but you did,” I replied sweetly.