The Year’s Best Films
- Moonlight
Beautiful, unexpected coming of age triptych - Hidden Figures
Exhilarating corrective racial history lesson - The Witch
Horrifying depiction of religious madness - La La Land
Candy-colored L.A. fantasia - Tickled
Jaw-dropping mystery documentary with an authentically juicy villain - OJ: Made in America
Titanic use of the documentary form - Arrival
A rare smart science fiction movie! - The Handmaiden
A fever-dream of sex, deception and betrayal - Manchester By the Sea
A very pure and heartfelt portrait of grief - Midnight Special
Forget Loving. THIS was the GOOD Jeff Nichols movie this year.
Honorable Mention:
The Nice Guys
The Wave [Norway]
Train to Busan
10 Cloverfield Lane
Don’t Think Twice
Eye in the Sky
Sing Street
Green Room
The Invitation
Love and Friendship
Hell or High Water
In Order of Disappearance [Norway]
Lion
Indignation
Perfectly Enjoyable
Barbershop: The Next Cut
Edge of Seventeen
Tallulah
The Duelist [Russia]
The Meddler
Everybody Wants Some!!
Finding Dory
Ghostbusters
Don’t Breathe
The Shallows
De Palma
Women He’s Undressed
Becoming Mike Nichols
Sully
Lo and Behold: Reveries of the Connected World
Blue Jay
Actor
Denzel Washington, Fences
Vincent Lindon, The Measure of a Man [France]
*Casey Affleck, Manchester-By-The Sea
Ryan Gosling, La La Land
Honorable Mention: John Goodman, 10 Cloverfield Lane; Ralph Ineson, The Witch
Actress
Viola Davis, Fences
Min-hee Kim, The Handmaiden
Taraji P. Henson, Hidden Figures
Isabelle Huppert, Elle
*Annette Bening, 20th Century Women
Honorable Mention: Anya Taylor-Joy, The Witch; Natalie Portman, Jackie; Ruth Negga, Loving; Hailee Steinfeld, Edge of Seventeen; Sally Field, Hello My Name is Doris; Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins; Kate Beckinsale, Love and Friendship
Supporting Actor
Tracy Letts, Indignation
Sunny Pawar, Lion
Russell Hornsby, Fences
Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water
*Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
Honorable Mention: Tom Bennett, Love and Friendship; Gil Birmingham, Hell or High Water; Simon Helgberg, Florence Foster Jenkins; Ashton Sanders, Moonlight
Supporting Actress
Michelle Williams, Manchester-By-The-Sea
*Naomie Harris, Moonlight
Kate Dickie, The Witch
Molly Shannon, Other People
Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
Director
*Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
Robert Eggers, The Witch
Chan-wook Park, The Handmaiden
Damien Chazelle, La La Land
Denis Villeneuve, Arrival
Documentary
City of Gold
Tickled
Presenting Princess Shaw
The Eagle Huntress
Thirteenth
*OJ: Made in America
Animated Feature
Zootopia
Kubo and the Two Strings
*The Red Turtle
Foreign language feature
*The Handmaiden (South Korea)
Train to Busan (South Korea)
The Wave (Norway)
In Order of Disappearance (Norway)
The Duelist (Russia)
Cinematography
Café Society (Vittorio Storaro)
*Nocturnal Animals (Seamus McGarvey)
La La Land (Linus Sandgren)
Moonlight (James Laxton)
The Handmaiden (Chung-hoon Chung)
Production Design
*La La Land (David Wasco, Sandy Reynolds-Wasco)
Hidden Figures (Wynn Thomas)
The Witch (Craig Lathrop)
The Handmaiden (Seong-hie Ryu)
Costume Design
*La La Land (Mary Zophres)
Hidden Figures (Renee Ehrlich Kalfus)
The Handmaiden (Sang-gyeong Jo)
Funniest
Deadpool
*Office Christmas Party
Sausage Party
Neighbors 2
People who need to be a bigger deal
T.J. Miller, who was so terrific in Deadpool and Office Christmas Party
Anya Taylor-Joy (The Witch)
Gil Birmingham, low-key but irresistible in Hell or High Water
Jerrod Carmichael (The Meddler, Neighbors 2)
Blake Jenner (Everybody Wants Some!!, Edge of Seventeen)
Glen Powell (Everybody Wants Some!!, Hidden Figures)
Mahershala Ali (Moonlight, Hidden Figures)
Writer/Director Jeremy Saulnier, whose film Green Room was the thriller of the year
Writer/Director Mike Birbiglia, who showed amazing growth between his first feature (Sleepwalk With Me from 2012) to this year’s Don’t Think Twice
Jenny Slate, so good in Zootopia and My Blind Brother
Best Sly Casting Joke
Tom Everett Scott in La La Land. Think about his resume and you’ll get it.
Best performance as a lesbian taco
Salma Hayek in Sausage Party
Best Performance by a former game of thrones actor
Kate Dickie in The Witch
Country whose movies need more viewers and awards and stuff
South Korea. If you’re not going to South Korean movies these days, you are really missing out.
what the actual @*^ do they have to do to win a freaking oscar?
Annette Bening
John Goodman
Guilty Pleasures
Hardcore Harry
Office Christmas Party
Best Thriller
Green Room
Best Mystery
Tickled
But At least it looked good. right?
Warcraft
Weirdest
The Lobster
Most reprehensively deceptive trailer
The Lobster
Underrated!
Sing Street
The Nice Guys
The Witch
Midnight Special
Best Extended dialog scene
Indignation: Logan Lerman (college student) and Tracy Letts (Dean) spar in an increasingly odd and uncomfortable exchange.
Memorable lines
Moonlight: “Ok. Let your head rest in my hand. Relax. I got you. I promise. I won’t let you go. Hey man. I got you. There you go. Ten Seconds. Right there. You in the middle of the world.”
The Witch: “Did ye make some unholy bond with that goat?”
Hidden Figures: “There are no colored bathrooms in this building, or any building outside the West Campus, which is half a mile away. Did you know that? I have to walk to Timbuktu just to relieve myself! And I can’t use one of the handy bikes. Picture that, Mr. Harrison. My uniform, skirt below the knees and my heels. And simple necklace pearls. Well, I don’t own pearls. Lord knows you don’t pay the colored enough to afford pearls! And I work like a dog day and night, living on coffee from a pot none of you want to touch! So, excuse me if I have to go to the restroom a few times a day.”
Zootopia: “Fear ALWAYS works!”
Overrated
Jungle Book (sorry, everyone)
The Feel-bad movies of 2016
Weiner Dog
Nocturnal Animals
High-Rise
Just a hot mess
The Little Prince
Worst movies of 2016
Too Late
Goat
In Memoriam
The roster of performers and other show business types we lost in 2016 is absolutely overwhelming. Feel free to skip this portion if you’ve run out of tears. But here goes. The purely objective short list of the losses that particular sadden me are at the top.
Alan Rickman
Maurice White
Harper Lee
Umberto Eco
Pat Conroy
Patty Duke
Gene Wilder
Edward Albee
Florence Henderson
Carrie Fisher
Debbie Reynolds
Pat Harrington, Jr.
David Bowie
Dan Haggerty
Glen Frey
Abe Vigoda
Vanity
George Gaines
Sonny James
Tony Burton
George Kennedy
George Martin
Keith Emerson
Phife Dawg
Garry Shandling
Jim Harrison
Eric Bauersfeld
Merle Haggard
Doris Roberts
Prince
Billy Paul
Guy Clark
Alan Young
Muhammad Ali
Theresa Saldana
Ron Lester
Anton Yelchin
Ralph Stanley
Bernie Whorrell
Michael Cimino
Noel Neill
Garry Marshall
David Huddleston
Pete Fountain
Barry Jenner
Kenny Baker
Fyvush Finkel
Steven Hill
Juan Gabriel
John Polito
Alexis Arquette
W.P. Kinsella
Curtis Hanson
Bill Nunn
Tommy Ford
Leonard Cohen
Robert Vaughn
Leon Russell
Holly Dunn
Sharon Jones
Ron Glass
Grant Lake
Grant Tinker
Joseph Mascolo
E.R. Braithwaite
Alan Thicke
Zsa Zsa Gabor
George Michael
Rickey Harris
Richard Adams
Barbara Tarbuck
William Christopher
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I look forward to arguing with you!
