Work is going swimmingly, and even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t talk about that here. Sorry. But it really is going well.
During my Potsdam tour on Saturday I realized, again, how woefully ignorant I am of continental European history. The stories of the rulers of Prussia that I heard on the tour were so interesting that I went to Amazon to look for a book that could shore up my education a bit. I decided on The Iron Kingdom: The Rise and Downfall of Prussia, 1600-1947 by Christopher Clark. It’s a huge 800+ page book, and while it’s a bit dry, I’m still enjoying it, and it’s full of great information where my knowledge is sorely lacking. I hope I have the patience to finish reading it. I’m about 17% of the way through it now.
Favorite History Books
The Proud Tower by Barbara Tuchman
Peter the Great by Robert K. Massie
Salt by Mark Kurlansky
A History of Venice by John Julius Norwich
The Bridge at Andau by James Michener
The Great Bridge: The Epic Story of the Bulding of the Brooklyn Bridge by David McCullough
What the hell is this?
Average Rating: 5 out of 5 based on 291 user reviews.
This church was built in thanks to God for a much-needed royal male heir.
Thanks to a great suggestion from the office manager here in Munich, I am now booked on a tour of Salzburg for this Saturday! I didn’t realize how close Munich was to that magical city. I’m looking forward to my Sound of Music tour!
Looks like a minaret, but it's actually a chimney.
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Realized today that I need to work harder on my German food word vocabulary. We went to a cafeteria today and I inadvertently got duck breast curry. Ew. Icky poo.
Places I’ve Had Duck Meals That I Didn’t Enjoy
Beijing
Munich
Dinner was better. Bert and I fired up his cell phone, hooked up the GPS, and navigated our way to the nearest McDonalds. Sometimes you just have to go for cheap comfort food.
Very popular poplars
Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 219 user reviews.
Back in beautiful Munich! This is the last destination on my trip that I have been to before. I was here in 2006 for three weeks when I was doing an earlier project for this same client.
The Peace Angel at sunset.
Despite the internet problems, it’s nice that the hotel is just a ten minute walk from the office. This is a huge improvement over last time, when it was a walk, a subway ride, then another walk.
There’s also been a lot of turnover in the Munich office as well, even though it’s the same facilities as the last time.
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I’m frequently astonished at what employees will tell a contractor. I’ll be having lunch with someone and they’ll just start confiding in me. I don’t mind, but I think the risk they take when they do this is breathtaking. They don’t know me! They don’t know that I’ll keep my mouth shut. It’s just their dumb luck that I actually will keep the things they say in confidence. But if I was a reckless asshole I could cause some real damage.
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One of my colleagues from the Brussels office is in Munich this week to help us, and it was good to see him again. We had a very nice Italian dinner that basically took all night.
Going to dinner in Europe is a very, very, VERY different activity from going to dinner in the States.
In America, going to dinner is frequently the first part of an evening. You eat, then you go to a movie, or a good hanging. Or it’s something to do because work is done and you’re hungry.
In Europe going to dinner is your evening.
The entire vibe of meals in restaurants in Europe is very different than in the States. The service is much more passive. There’s none of that, “Hi, I’m Tamerlane, and I’ll be your server tonight, ” crap. On the other hand, the staff at every restaurant here seems to assume that you have all day or night to complete your meal. They seem utterly uninterested in “turning the table.” This is nice ifyou really do have all the time in the world; a bit frustrating if you don’t.
So, while I enjoyed our three hour dinner, by the time I got back to my room it was so late and I was so tired I just read a bit and conked out.
Things Clients Have Confided in Me Over The Years[1]
Speaking of my ease with the public transportation system in Berlin, I do have to say that I am good at this. This traveling thing. You can plop me down in a strange city and I figure out what I need to figure out with a minimum of hand-wringing or fretting. I’m not intimidated by figuring out the subway maps, or using my non-existent prowess in the local language to find out what I need to find out, or anything.
When I got here Monday night, I was tired, and I stumbled about the gigantic and intimidating Alexanderplatz train station trying to figure out how to buy my week transport pass. A few days go by, and you should have seen me this morning: Hopped off my train, gathered my breakfast from three different vendors all on the way to the tour meeting place, nary a misstep, and I got there early. I am good at this, if I do say so myself. And I do.
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The train ride was pleasant, but could have been nicer. I had splurged for a (not very expensive) first class ticket, and had even reserved a seat in the “Quiet Car.” Nice.
I hauled my luggage into a cab and headed to the train station, had breakfast at McDonalds (real American breakfast, Egg McMuffin, just like God intended), and then made my way to the gleaming ICE Train. Found my seat, got settled in . . and then in came Mommy and her Loudmouthed German Daughter. In the Quiet Car?!? A young child and a Quiet Zone simply don’t go together. What was she thinking?
The Sony Center at Postdamer Platz
Anyway, the kid wasn’t too bad and I thoroughly enjoyed the six hour ride.
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The Munich Palace Hotel is, despite its name, a small boutique “luxury” hotel just a short walk (yay!) from the Client’s office. The only problem? NO FREE INTERNET. I am afraid I threw a bit of a fit. “Really? In 2011? Making me pay for internet is like charging me for towels and soap!” It’s expensive, too, and not even that good a connection.
I considered doing without the internet in my room in the evenings. I considered this plan for about as long as it would take you to list all the good Adam Sandler movies. I realized that, particularly without a phone, it would just be too depressing. This is a very long trip, and I’ve really grown to need the connection I feel through my laptop. The manager of the hotel is working on getting me something of a deal for my 12 days here. Fingers crossed.
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By the way, what is it with Germany and its gay kings?
Notable German Rules Who Were Or Who Probably Were Friends of Dorothy
Frederich Wilhelm I of Prussia – obsessed with tall soldiers
Frederich II (The Great) of Prussia – his dad (Frederich Wilhelm I, who you’d think would have been a bit more understanding, considering his thing for soldiers) had his first boyfriend executed
Ludwig II of Bavaria – constructed Neuschwanstein Castle, probably the gayest castle in Europe
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5 based on 238 user reviews.
[NOTE: Since I was on a bicycle all day and my camera is big, heavy, fragile and expensive, I had to leave it behind. So no actual photos of Potsam, very sorry about this. It is a beautiful place and I encourage you to look it up.]
Full day excursion to the palace-strewn town of Potsdam. First time I’ve been on a bicycle in seventeen years, believe it or not.
The Spree River winds its way through Berlin
The very last time I was ever on a bicycle was in May lf 1994, at the closing ceremonies of the very first California AIDS Ride. I had just bicycled my way from San Francisco to Los Angeles, which was the only physically impressive thing that I’ve ever done in my life.
I loved the event, loved that I had done every mile on my own, and returned to work as a non-riding volunteer for nine more rides. But the experience also cured me, permanently, of cycling.
After my tumble on the Segway on Tuesday I was a tiny bit apprehensive, but I did fine. No falling.
You see these networks of pipes all over the city. They are an attempt to fortify the water table and thereby slow down the scary process of all of Berlin's old buildings sinking into the swamp.
Potsdam is beautiful, and of course wildly historical. We got to stand in the very room and see the very table where Truman, Stalin and Churchill hammered out the disposition of Europe, and particularly of Germany, at the end of the War.
I also had the opportunity to be a tiny bit patriotic early in the day. The way the tour worked is that we all met at the Fat Tire Bike headquarters, got our bikes, and then hauled them on to the commuter train to Potsdam. There was a nice family of Kiwis in the tour group, and after we arrived at the leafy retreat some fifteen miles out of Berlin, he reported that the train carriage they had been on had been populated by a group of unruly skinheads. “They were singing illegal songs, ” Kiwi Dad said.
“Songs can be ‘illegal’”? I asked, knowing full well exactly where this was going.
“Here in Germany they can.” Clearly he was talking about Nazi songs.
I am an asshole, so I continued. “So . . Germany doesn’t have freedom of speech, then.”
“Well, not on this subject.”
I replied, without a trace of haughtiness, “Well, I come from a country where even unpopular speech is protected.”
“Oh, yeah, what country?”
“The United States of America.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, right, how about that radio DJ who lost his job.”
“You mean Don Imus? First, he’s rich and immediately got another job so don’t worry about him. Second, he was fired by the private company he worked for. Free Speech means the government cannot censor you.”
“Oh. Yeah. Good point.”
OWNED!!!
USA: 1, New Zealand: 0.
Why indeed?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m certainly not interested in supporting the singing of Nazi songs on public trains. But I think it’s a mistake that Germany makes the swastika and other Nazi stuff literally illegal. If we only protect the speech we like, then speech isn’t free.
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It’s my last day in Berlin. I’ve enjoyed my time in this beautiful but ragged city. I think my favorite aspect of the city is its spectacular public transportation system. I have been without a car in Los Angeles since last summer, and I have to tell you that, except for commuting to and from downtown during rush hour, it SUCKS to not have a car in LA. But it would totally be possible here in Berlin. Between the trams, buses, subways, and commuter trains, you can get where you need to go, and get there quickly and easily. I’ve been jetting around the city like a native.
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Also a good day, kid-wise. I’m usually no good with kids. My only play is video games, and that opens the door for me sometimes, but not always. For some reason, however, the kids on today’s tour found me unendingly fascinating.
At two different points in the tour, a diferent kid latched onto me. While we were tooling around Potsdam on the bikes, 10-year old New Zealander William (or Wilhelm, as I insisted on calling him) reminded me, almost painfully, of myself at his age. A real motormouth know-it-all. Obviously a voracious reader, already well-versed in history (you could tell this by the questions he asked during the tourguide’s various spiels).
He was one of those “Didja know?!” kids. Every thirty seconds there would be a new “Didja know?!” I tormented my father and other adults with this syndrome for a few years, so it was pretty esy to be tolerant. The only disturbing thing was that he informed me that his parents didn’t let him play video games. I’m sure there is a Family Services type agency in Holland where they are living that I can contact.
On the train ride back, young Adam, four going on five, wouldn’t budge an inch from me. His family was in Berlin while his Dad worked on a film. They were a nice foursome from The Valley. Adam showed off a birthday gift – a tiny cheetah. I told him that on a recent birthday of my own, I’d seen a real cheetah at the San Diego Wild Animal Park. Of course as a fellow Californian, he’d been there also. Then he proceeded to ruthlessly quiz me on my feeble German vocabulary. I realized I actually knew more German words than I thought I knew, as I had to keep pulling them out of my head. “What othe rwords do you know?!” he’d demand immediately after I’d produce a translated word. The next day was his fifth birthday, and he was to spend it with his sister and parents at the Olympia Stadium, where there was to be a big medieval jousting tournament. Pretty cool birthday, I said.
I felt pretty sore today from the bruises I got from my Segway spill. I slept in, messed around on my computer for a while, then headed out to the “gay” neighorhood. The term may be a bit unneccesary in a city as gay as Berlin. It has the third highest gay population in the world, after San Francisco and Sydney.
The neighborhood was nice, but seemed very normal. This is a good thing, I guess. It’s time gay people became boring and normal. That would be a victory.
I had paella at a place called El Toro Negro. I realized it was perhaps the first time I’d ever actually had paella, but what’s not to like? Chicken, rice and veggies. Yum.
No, they're talking about the angry old German dude, not the civil rights leader. Dr. King has a dream; Martin Luther had 99 Theses.
Afterwards my pain was bothering me a bit less so I walked another hour or so through one of the big expensive shopping streets. Then home.
Tomorrow is my bicicyle tour of Potsdam. I guess it’s too much to hope that cutie pie Kevin will be the tourguide again!
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The Tiergarten at dusk
Yesterday I read Jon Krakauer’s disturbing new expose of Greg Mortensen, the hugely successful bestselling author of Three Cups of Tea and Stones Into Schools. Mortenson has received enormous adulation and financial success stemming from tales of his altruistic exploits building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. The problem is, according to Krakauer: Almost everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. Most of what he wrote in both books is a lie. He also appears to be guilty of stunning financial irregularities. He was just destroyed on 60 Minutes. I think it’s safe to say that when Jon Krakauer and 60 Minutes are on to you, it’s time to give it up. I hope he’s in jail soon.
Krakauer, by the way, is a real journalistic stud. I’ve now read every book he has published. He’s a writer of tremendous skill, power and integrity. I’m glad a man of his fierce intelligence and passion is on our side.
Books I’ve Read by Jon Krakauer
Into Thin Air
Into the Wild
Under the Banner of Heaven
Where Men Win Glory
Eiger Dreams
Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 206 user reviews.
We have this rule at my apartment building in Los Angeles, too. 🙁
Berlin is the single most grafitti-soaked city I have ever been in. I keep expecting to see graffiti on restaurant menus. I swear I saw graffiti on a baby. The Berliners do seem to like their graffiti.
Had a terrific day following young Kevin the Tourguide’s advice on fun neighborhoods to explore. I went to three of them, all in old East Berlin.
Then I grabbed a bite and went on to more touristy stuff – I do have photos to get, after all.
"Remember when that Jewish family paid us to hide in our cellar? And then Papa turned them in anyway and we got to keep their stuff? That was great." "Ich stimme. Jews always had the BEST toys."
I revisited the Jewish Holocaust Memorial. It’s impressive yet a bit troubling that the city of Berlin didn’t seem the feel the need to erect one until – wait for it – 2003. Seriously? Wow.
Yeah, it took them until 2004 to build a memorial in Berlin to the Jews murdered by the Nazis.
I also found the easily-overlooked memorial to the homosexual victims of the Holocaust. Some people may not know that thousands of gay men were sent to the camps along with other targeted groups – Jews, gypsies, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and members of other “undesirable” groups. The memorial was unveiled in 2008. It’s underwhelming, but I’m still glad it’s there.
The Gay Holocaust Memorial may be underwhelming, but I'm glad it's there.
I then took a stroll down to the busy commercial district of Potstamerstrasse and saw the godawful boring 3D movie Thor. Jesus what a dull movie. But then, I think most supehero movies are dull, dull, dull. The list of comic book movies I like is rather small:
Superhero Movies That Don’t Make Me Gag
Superman (1978)
Superman II (1980)
Superman Returns (2006)
The Dark Knight (2008)
Spider-Man (2002)
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Iron Man (2008)
After the movie I took a stroll through the Tiergarten to get pictures of the monumental angel statue Siegessäule(1873)that was featured in that beautiful but boring movie Wings of Desire.
Average Rating: 5 out of 5 based on 271 user reviews.
Checkpoint Charlie is an amazingly potent monument to dramatic recent history.
Berlin sits on the Spree River, which winds through the city. At one point there’s a large island, and on this island is a collection of museums. Today I visited them.
The big ticket, for me anyway, is the Pergamon Museum. It contains two amazing items that are themselves worth a journey to Berlin to see.
The first is the Pergamon Altar. It was part of a huge Acropolis in Asia Minor from the Second Century BC. A crazy German archaeologist/engineer named Carl Humann began digging it up. He found enough fragments to reconstruct a portion of it. It’s so huge that the museum was built specifically to house it.
"Hi! I'm the handsome American soldier welcoming you to freedom!"
The other feature of the Pergamon Museum is the magnificent Ishtar Gate from Nebuchadnezzar II’s Babylon. It’s also monumental and simply unforgettable to see.
This fantastical architectural painting by the architect Schinkel just blew me away.
After the ancient stuff I went and looked at German art at the Alte Nationalgalerie. I discovered two painters that I really like. The first is Carl Spitzweg, who has a lovely little painting in there called Kite Flying. The second is a giant of German painting named Karl Friedrich Schinkel. The interesting thing about Schinkel is that he’s probably more famous as an architect and theatrical set designer than he is a painter. But he’s an amazing painter.
"And I'm the creepy, homely, jug-eared, skinny commie welcoming you back to the land where your neighbors are probably spying on you for the Stasi."
What I love about him is that he’s a bit of a fantasist. While many of his contemporaries were depicting famous cathedrals and other buildings, Schinkel liked to just make stuff up. His architectural and landscape paintings come from his knowledge of architecture and his imagination. It’s really dreamy stuff.
After I’d had all the beauty I could stand, I hopped on the train and headed back to Stargarder Strasse to theCafe Sol to have Mexican food. I had nachos, which were perfecty acceptable.
My plan tomorrow is to explore some of those fun neighborhoods Kevin referred me to.
The Wall
I’m just so pleased that I’m finally having the opportunity to explore this city!
They've left a bit of the wall standing.
Cities I’m Most Eager to Visit For the First Time
This double cobblestone line winds through the city, marking the location of the former Wall.
Sidney
Stockholm
Oslo
Hong Kong
Cape Town
Buenos Aires
Melbourne
Toronto
This is one of the pictures that turned me into a Schinkel fan on the spot.
Average Rating: 4.4 out of 5 based on 194 user reviews.
Yes. I am beautiful on a Segway. Particularly when I'm not falling over.
I began the day with a four hour private Segway tour of Berlin. I say private because I was the only one signed up for the tour. This was fantastic, as it meant I had the tourguide – an adorable gay ex-pat video artist named Kevin – to my self. He was a great tourguide and gave me a great introduction to Berlin.
For decades, the Brandenburg Gate was in the Dead Zone between layers of The Wall.
Berlin’s history, when you look back on the last 100 years, is simply insane. It’s mind-boggling how much has happened in this city. Two world wars, the poisonous paranoia of post-War East Germany, the fall of Communism, the Reunification, etc. It’s just a titanic amount of events in a relatively short period.
I learned from Kevin that Berlin has a very popular openly gay mayor.
You have to give the graffiti artist credit for effort on this one. It's in the middle of the river.
I also learned that Berlin is sinking into the swamp. There are blue pipes all over the city which are literally pumping water into the water table to keep the city afloat. The main cathedral of Berlin is sinking at an alarming rate.
We, of course, went to Checkpoint Charlie. It’s such a cliché, I didn’t expect it to be particularly interesting. But it was surprisingly moving to see the old sign – “You are entering the American sector” and its chilly reverse. The former location of the Wall is marked by a double line of cobblestones that winds its way through Berlin. Of course they left a little bit of it actually standing, just for history’s sake.
During the War, specially trained Nazi dachshunds were members of an elite squad known as the "judenschniffen."
In many places the Wall had a very wide “Dead Zone” between the two layers of wall, and so when it came down in 1989 the city suddenly had a huge amount of undeveloped real estate right in the middle of town. They’ve built many interesting new things on it, including the Jewish Holocaust Memorial.
"The Pope's Revenge"
Kevin also told me a fun story about the godawful ugly tower which juts up out of the Alexanderplatz (a huge transit hub). It’s a phallic concrete monstrosity built by the East Germans as a way to show the superiority of Communist know-how and engineering. The only trouble is, the brain drain from East Germany had been so severe that the building couldn’t actually be designed or built by East Germans. So they secretly snuck in an entire work force from Sweden to build the thing. Of course, the truth was found out eventually. It generally is.
Another amusing thing about the tower. East Germany was officially atheist, remember, while the rest of Berlin remained Lutheran and Catholic. When the tower was completed an interesting and unexpected natural phenomenon occurred when the sun was in the west: Its reflection on the bumpy globe at the top of the tower creates a perfect cross. Locally it’s known as “The Pope’s Revenge.”
Kevin also was a wealth of good advice on where to get a hair cut, and what neighborhoods would be fun to explore. This was good info to get because Berlin is one of those cities that doesn’t have a real center, which can make it intimidating for a tourist.
"I know! We'll name our convenience store after a failed artificial language! That'll really bring the customers in!!"
I am good on the Segway. This was my second time I’ve done a Segway tour. However, I did have one unfortunate moment when I was dismounting and the beast got itself into a slow but unstoppable spiral. It and me went down. I’m not hurt, but I my right side is pretty bruised and sore. What was worse was, I did it right in the middle of about a thousand people. I think that hurt more than the fall.
Reasons Tourguide Kevin Will Give Up His Life in Berlin to Move to Los Angeles To Be With Me
… okay, guys, a little help here? There’s got to be some reasons we can come up with . . .
Average Rating: 5 out of 5 based on 270 user reviews.
Well, it took nearly 10 years, but we finally go the son-of-a-bitch. I just wish I felt better about it .
Why couldn’t we have apprehended him? Why did we have to pounce, commando-style, guns blazing? Wouldn’t it have been better for us, better for the world, to put him on public trial? Incarcerate him? Did the administration think it would make the USA look weak if we didn’t murder him? I don’t really get it.
This magnificent golden angel figured prominently in the very beautiful but excruciatingly boring film "Wings of Desire."
I also feel a tiny bit guilty for taking a bit of partisan pleasure in the fact that this victory happened on Obama’s watch. Good for him. Along with the exasperated release of his birth certificate last week, it seems to be a pretty good month for the President.
Memorable Accomplishments of Barak Hussein Obama
Getting elected, even though he was a black dude named Hussein
Passing his compromised yet still important health bill
Getting Bin Laden
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I made a pretty costly mistake regarding the inter-Europe flights. The weight allowance for baggage is sharply less than it is for intercontinental flights, and I got slapped with pretty vicious fees on the Brussels to Vilnius and the Vilnius to Berlin flights. I got pretty steamed, but it’s really my fault for not doing better research. If I’d known it would be so expensive, I would have found a way to ship one of my large bags by train or something from Brussels to Berlin. I’ll be more careful next time.
Uh, yeah. Because it worked so well last time.
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As queasy as it made me to fly on the very day Osama’s death announced, my two short flights were easy and boring, as you want all flights to be.
I got to Berlin and my hotel just fine, but quickly realize I’d made a mistake thinking the hotel was in a “cool” part of the city. It’s called Courtyard City Center, so it was an honest mistake, I think. I mean, doesn’t that sound good? But it turns out the “city center” – called Mitte – is a boring, strictly business-only district with few amenities and very little charm. The hotel is very definitely a business, not tourist, hotel.
Best name for a Scottish folk band EVAR
But that’s okay. I made my way to the subway and after a little struggle figured out how to purchase a week pass. Public transportation is fantastic in Berlin, and with this pass I can easily hop around the city to get to the good parts.
Theres a lot of sort-of "post-Fascist" monumental architecture around Potsdamer Platz
Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5 based on 271 user reviews.
Another gorgeous day in the Bavarian capital. 
During my Potsdam tour on Saturday I realized, again, how woefully ignorant I am of continental European history. The stories of the rulers of Prussia that I heard on the tour were so interesting that I went to Amazon to look for a book that could shore up my education a bit. I decided on The Iron Kingdom: The Rise and Downfall of Prussia, 1600-1947 by Christopher Clark. It’s a huge 800+ page book, and while it’s a bit dry, I’m still enjoying it, and it’s full of great information where my knowledge is sorely lacking. I hope I have the patience to finish reading it. I’m about 17% of the way through it now.
